Belle's birth was so the opposite of that. In trying to express my feelings, I don't get very far before I come up short. So much went into the decisions I made for her birth that the resulting emotions are so very scattered and incoherent.
All that build-up to say that I was finally able to write a poem. Its all I could do to get the many layers of thoughts and feelings I have about her birth.
Surrounded by love
Sooner than expected
Sister and child
Cryptic is the only way I can describe this poem. I hope to go back to it someday and describe what each of the couplets mean to me. There was much strength and power in her birth, but words like happy/joyful/sadness don't cut it. At 3 1/2 months, I'm still figuring out what that experience means to me.