My special Mother's Day

On Mother's Day this year, I attended a speech given by Ina May Gaskin at Town Hall in Seattle. There were over 800 people of them, many midwives and doulas but a surprising number of expectant parents. She spoke on her story as a self-taught midwife in the 1970s, described some of the keys to a healthy safe delivery and how important it is for those who care about birth to advocate for increased access to midwives and better obstetric practice.

At the end, it was opened up to the audience to ask questions. During that it became clear to me that Ina May is not familiar with Solace for Mothers as a resource for women who have had traumatic birth experiences. I should have gotten up and mentioned it but I didn't want to sound like an advertisement. Sometimes I just don't know how to deal with public relations!

One of the things that Ina May said she wished for was to have all of the birth advocates be better connected and able to work together. I share that desire with her and really hope that my current efforts will be able to bring that to pass. I really feel that we need an online social network that gathers birth advocates together in the same place and use platforms like the Care2 petition site, facebook, online forums, Change.org and Salsa Democracy to use viral advocacy techniques to bring a strong, united voice to what would truly improve maternity services in the United States and the world. I guess that's my job isn't? Since I am on the CIMS Grassroots Advocates Committee... Big plans, in progress... I just wish it was all ready and that it was common knowledge in the birth community!

I wish that I had had the opportunity to sit down and talk with Ina May but if that had been doing to happen, I should have attend the MAWS conference the Friday before. When prioritizing my desire to see her in person, I had to decide between being away from my kids all day Friday and leave them with a babysitter or be away for 2 hours on Mother's day Sunday and leave them with their dad. It was a tough decision but I chose to have more time with the children and be away from them on a day that's supposed to be especially for me as a mother anyway.

Someday I hope that I can meet and talk with her because I have so much respect for her work, especially on the Maternal Mortality Quilt. I would love to see a complimentary effort to honor and remember mothers who have experienced trauma and PTSD from their birth experiences. For each mother who died in childbirth, I am sensitive to the fact that if they lived, they likely would have been deeply traumatized by their experiences and their memories of being close to death. People traumatized by life events and who live afterwards know the special hell that comes from surviving something horrific and terrifying. I want those mothers to be remembered to. For women who experience trauma, they often find that they become shadows of themselves. They are the walking wounded and we need to be just as aware of them as we are aware of the family members who lost a woman in childbirth. I don't want what that would look like, whether it would be a Solace (thinking Support in Overcoming Labor And Childbearing experiences) quilt or a paper sculpture in the shape of a tree with leaves symbolizing one of the 1.4 million mothers who are traumatized each year. I had a nice talk with Penny Simkin about this and she is encouraging me to come up with something good and a plan to enact it. If you have ideas, please help!

Anyway back to the event with Ina May. After the questions and answers, there was a Birth Fair with birth and baby organizations and services from around the Seattle area. I met the midwives at Puget Sound Birth Center. When I told Val that PSBC is the most highly and frequently rated out of hospital birth center on The Birth Survey, she literally started crying she was so happy!

I was so glad that I was able to attend with my mother and my good friend Shawnette who became a doula after she attended Willem's birth as a volunteer doula. It was a really nice event and obviously, as seen by this post, inspired a lot of ideas and renewed energy and drive for me. It was definitely a special way to spend Mother's Day and a special thanks to my husband and children who were willing to facilitate my attendance.

What will they (I hope) say about me when I die?

also posted on my spirituality blog: Jenneology

I am lifting the following exercise from a recent post on Feminist Mormon Housewives. A new self-help book aiming to assist people of my generation to find their purpose in life provided the exercise. What follows are my answers:

Thought Experiment: You’ve died. You are at your own funeral. What do you want your friends and family to say about you? What did you do with your life? Write down five things you hope people say about the legacy that you’ve left. Write down five things you hope people say about your personality.

1. She was a seeker of truth and was open-minded, and respectful in the finding of it. She embraced the belief in the gospel that all good things come from God and that all truth can be circumscribed into one great whole. She would embrace truth, quite literally, wherever it could be found--in Islam, Unitarian Universalism, Paganism, Gnosticism, Physics, Astronomy and Chemistry. She was a student of life and found great joy in it.

2. She wanted to make a difference in the world and she worked diligently to address some of the injustices and inequalities that people, especially women throughout the world face. Her involvement in non-profit organizations and humanitarian works helped the lives of many. One of the things she was fond of saying was that she didn't want to make a difference in the life of a child, but she wanted to make a difference in the life of many. She worked at the systems level to address the root causes of poverty, abuse and barriers to living a full and happy life.

3. She prioritized her family while at the same time set the example to them to be anxiously engaged in a good cause (or in her case, many). Her children were involved with her and shared her with the people of the world. They had the opportunity to see and do many things that provided service to others because of the example and encouragement of their mother. She was actively involved with them at all levels of their lives and somehow found a balance in the limited hours of each day to show them they were loved and benefited from her presence and involvement in their lives.

4. She was a believer in the radical Jesus: the Jesus who was friends with the sinners and who was compassionate to their experiences, the socialist who believed in complete redistribution of wealth, the empowerment and equality of women and the Christ-like love that each person needs to achieve their potential.

5. She knew hardship, difficulty, pain and injustice and she was able to find strength from her experiences and turn them around to be compassionate towards others, to support and comfort them.

5 personality traits: tenacious, determined, creative, compassionate, advocate

Core Values: Discover what drives you. What principles guide your actions and ideal self? Try to strip away all cultural conditioning and/or religious rhetoric and assess five core values by which you live your life and inform who you want to be. Write these down. Evaluate if there any disconnect between what you wrote down in step one and step two.

Maybe I already did this up above. Just pulling from there, we find that I value: openness to truth/goodness, compassion, advocacy, social justice and idealism.

Find Your Purpose: Why does what you are doing matter? What motivates and inspires you to keep following these values? Chose a purpose. It can be big or small, but has to be intentional. It is the reason for your goals and can change over time. If you are struggling to find your purpose try this experiment. Write down your five most valuable gifts and talents. Next, write below those what each of these can be used for. Finally, evaluate what types of careers or activities you would enjoy that would utilize some of these talents.

I'm already doing many of the things I hope to be remembered for so my purpose is described above. Involvement in Solace for Mothers, LDS WAVE, The Coalition for Improving Maternity Services already address some of those values that I hold so deeply. I would someday like to turn those desires and abilities into paid employment and I hope that it will be doing something that addresses the root causes of injustice in the world. I would love to work in humanitarian aid (whether it is at the local, national or global scene) but at the systems level. One of my skills is to look at big picture and see ways to build coalitions and to bring people together, to create ways that people from very different viewpoints can interface with each other in cooperative ways. Most of my efforts are somehow related to system building and connecting people in large communities to harness their combined power into a stronger more unified voice.

Test Your Purpose: Today my purpose will be _____________. To accomplish that I will use my gifts for ________________ to accomplish these specific goals_______________. Later change the timeline to week, month, and year.

Today my purpose will be two fold:

1) to connect with my children and show them the value of caring for others

2) learn about how to structure my family economically so we can be Equal Shared Parenting and Radical Homemaking folks.

To accomplish that I will use my gifts for being involved in national organizations and reading to accomplish these specific goals:

1) I will walk with my children in the March of Dimes walk, teach them to sew and make things we can sell on Talents of Sisters.

2) start reading the book Equally Shared Parenting and discuss with my husband the possibilities that our interests lead us to.

Otherwise, I would say that my goals are year long, or at the very least, seasonal. This year I hope to create an online community for birth advocates that can become a hub for the thousands who care birth issues in our world. This season, we hope to grow some of our own food and make some of our own household products to develop our skills and save money.

Write It All Down: Once you have a purpose you can stick with, write it all down and it will remind your of who you are and what you want to be. I.e.My five core values are ____________. My five core talents are ______________. In the next ten years my purpose will be ______________. The key features of my personal mission statement are ______________.

My five core values are openness to truth/goodness, compassion, advocacy, social justice and idealism.

My five core talents are:

1) building community and cooperation around advocacy efforts

2) addressing root causes of social issues

3) looking at the big picture

4) being respectful and open to differing view points

5) embracing and valuing the good that is inherent in differing perspectives

In the next ten years my purpose will be to:

1) achieve equal partnership in my marriage

2) find paid part-time employment in advocacy work

3) support and contribute to organizations addressing global poverty

4) continue to develop current advocacy organizations

5) educate my children through experiential learning in living the gospel of the radical Jesus.

The key features of my personal mission statement are make a difference in the world, aspire to the ideal, encourage potential, and value balance and compassion to oneself and others.

Lets Take BPA Out of Canned Foods

copied from MomsRising E-alert April 11, 2011. 

20 people. 5 families. Fresh food intervention. How low can their BPA levels go?

It sounds like the premise for a reality show. But there are no over-the-top TV antics here. Last week, the Breast Cancer Fund and Silent Spring Institute released a study which tested the levels of the toxic chemical BPA for five families. Like many average families across America, these families were regularly exposed to BPA in their day to day lives through pretty normal activities: eating canned foods and beverages, eating in restaurants, using polycarbonate water bottles, and/or microwaving in plastic. 

To see if their BPA levels could be lowered, these families were given a fresh food intervention: three days’ worth of freshly prepared organic meals, no canned food, and using only glass storage containers. The results were astounding: When the families took BPA out of their diets, they decreased the amount of BPA in their bodies by 60 percent on average in just three days![1]  

Everyone should be able to be BPA free, but not everyone can because of its pervasive use by major corporations in our nation.  

Now is the time to bring our voices together and to use our collective consumer power, to make sure all families can reduce their levels of toxic BPA. Our voices are needed because BPA is one of the most pervasive toxic chemicals in our modern lives With 2 billion pounds of BPA produced annually in the U.S., it's no wonder that over 90% of Americans have detectable levels of BPA in their bodies.[2] Removing BPA from canned foods is a great first step in reducing our nation’s BPA exposure.

* Tell major food manufacturers Campbells, Del Monte, and Progresso that enough is enough! We know BPA is dangerous, and we want it out of our food and packaging! 

http://action.momsrising.org/sign/BCF_BPA1/

Women make the majority of purchasing decisions, so when we bring out voices together to contact corporations, we can have a powerful impact. And our powerful impact is needed now because laboratory studies link BPA exposure to breast cancer, infertility, early onset puberty, ADHD, and obesity. Children, whose brains and organs are constantly developing, are particularly at risk and are exposed to more BPA for their size than adults.[3] 

There are ways we can personally work to protect our families from some BPA exposure. Suggestions from the Breast Cancer Fund and Silent Spring Institute for reducing exposure to BPA and DEHP include cooking at home with fresh foods and making some changes in the kitchen, such as avoiding canned foods, choosing glass and stainless steel food and beverage containers, and not microwaving in plastic. 

But unfortunately, these personal changes are not enough.  We can't avoid canned goods even if we have resources and the time for a pantry overhaul. Think a canned-foods-free pantry is keeping you BPA-free? Think again. Restaurants frequently use canned and packaged foods as an ingredients. So even if you've sworn off canned soup, BPA from canned foods is so omnipresent that it can show up on your plate at the local pizza joint, at a five star restaurant, in your children's school, or at the local food bank.   

Like all moms, we're worried about the health and safety of our families. And like all moms, we're busy. That's why we want to make sure that when companies remove BPA from their canned goods, they aren't wasting time by replacing BPA with another toxic chemical. We're asking Del Monte, Campbells, and Progresso to take BPA out of their foods, and to also be transparent about their next steps for replacing BPA. 

While we start making changes in the kitchen, lets work together to make a big change for the country. Ask America's top canned food manufacturers what they’re doing to get rid of BPA in their products!

http://action.momsrising.org/sign/BCF_BPA1/

Together we can build a safer and healthier nation for all of our children. 

Thank you! 

Treasure Mapping 2011

This year I decided to join in with the April New Moon Tradition of Treasure Mapping. Consider it a visual representation of the hopes, dreams, goals and aspirations I have for myself and my family over the next year.

For a description of how to treasure map, see here: Mothering.Community's Official Treasure Map of 2011.

So here's mine. Its a work in progress and will probably work on cleaning it up in the next few days but I'm really excited to share it, anyway. It was grueling and somewhat discouraging to think without limits and then try not to let reality encroach. reach for the stars, right?

Living Blog at CIMS "Reframing Birth and Breastfeeding"

The Coalition for Improving Maternity Service is co-hosting a conference with the Breastfeeding Feminism Symposia Series this weekend in Chapel Hill North Carolina. I'm there and I'm live blogging on my facebook page.

The topic is "Reframing Birth and Breastfeeding: Moving Forward" with great speakers like Eugene Declereq, Penny Simkin, Robbie-Davis Floyd and other experts in public health, breastfeeding, advocacy and birth.

Midwifery as A Calling

You have to check out this post at The Gift of Giving Life and read about how Mormons in the early days of their church considered midwifery a position in the church where women were called according to the inspiration of the spirit to serve the women in their congregations. Unfortunately, this practice did not persist beyond the days of birth moving to the hospital but for the time that it did exist, I can only imagine how empowering, spiritually uplifting and community strengthening such a tradition would be. 

As a Mormon by conversion, I am wistful for the days of this practice and wish that society hadn't changed so much that midwives called in each ward or take became a thing of the past. Right now in the church, there is no structure in the organization to connect Mormon (or as I prefer LDS) women with LDS midwives. I know they exist, along with a score of doulas, childbirth educators and birth junkies because I have become acquainted with many of them across the internet. 

I know that I as a birthing woman would love to work with an LDS midwife or have an LDS doula. I don't even know if there are LDS doulas or midwives in my area and I wish I did. I love the Christian midwife that I worked with during my last pregnancy but a Christian worldview was second best in comparison to a Mormon worldview. (I can clarify on this if my readers are interested). 

As an aspiring midwife and birth attendant, I feel prompted to offer my services as a doula during labor and postpartum to the women in my local congregations. In the past I have tried to get the word out that I am interested and willing to offer this as an act of service but like I said there are few ways to get this known to the local women. Meetings are structured so that there is time for very little else and the scope of the LDS church's women's organization is so broad that its hard to cover all of the many ways that relief can be provided through charity. 

I would really like to see a directory/registry/list of LDS doulas, midwives and childbirth educators that is shared on the internet for LDS women to refer to as they are looking for maternity care. In a way, it would bring back a little bit of the community that once existed in the church with Relief Society sisters literally providing relief during some of the most important and hard work of a Mormon woman's life.

Since the church is organized in geographical areas called stakes, I would love to see this list be organized by stakes. Usually a stake covers a city or town (or in some cases a few towns near each other) and has around 1,000 members of the church. Its usually within driving distance from one end of the stake to another and given the distances that I've heard some midwives travel to assist women at their births seems doable for one woman in the stake to reach any and all of the sisters when she is in labor. And there's nothing wrong with having more than one midwife listed in a stake. 

The main difference between a list like this and the former way of issuing callings is that no one is assigned to be a specific midwife or doula to a certain area. There could be a dozen midwives and doulas in a given stake (oh what a dream!) and there wouldn't need to be competition or obligation. A childbearing woman has so many options when it comes to birth attendants (hopefully) that often what she needs to make an informed choice is access to information about the options available to her. I truly think that if LDS women knew that there were LDS women near them who were trained and qualified in attending births that they would work together in many cases. What a blessing that would be to the community of sisters! 

Who's with me in creating his list? Do you know of any LDS doulas, midwives or childbirth educators in your stake or ward boundaries? Are you one? 

Or even better, does what I'm hoping for already exist?? 

Going global

I'm coming out all over the place, as a feminist, as a Mormon, as an activist, as an aspiring midwife. Awareness and passion for all of these ideas and activities has led me to expand my focus for what is wrong with the world and what I can do about it.

There is a great deal of conversation on birth blogs that birth advocacy is a inherently biased by privilege, class and race. And I could honestly be a poster child for that. White, middle-class, advanced education, had a negative birth experience and got all uppity about it. In my defense, I had to start somewhere and have my feminist awakening in some way.

I truly believe that my experience giving birth to Willem humbled me in a way where I felt compelled to be more compassionate and empathetic to the suffering of other women. I felt the need to do something about it and one step at a time, my perspective broadened and I took in more of the needless, unethical suffering women experience the world over.

For a few years now, I'm worked with Solace for Mothers and the Coalition for Improving Maternity Services on The Birth Survey. In the last year however, I felt strongly that there is more that I can do than tackle birth from a privileged view.

Some of the efforts of others have brought me to this awareness of thinking outside myself and people most like me. Through their efforts I have found the solidarity of sistership that comes from just being a woman among women. I know I will never be able to set aside my race or my privilege entirely but I cannot let that be an excuse to not be involved in where help is needed and where I am capable of doing something that can help.

Two documentaries shaped this broadening of thought and feminist activist: firstly, Tanya Lee Jones' documentary on preconception education and reducing prematurity in low-income, black America (I cannot find the link for the life of me, maybe someone can help) and "A Walk to Beautiful" which is the story of obstetric fistula patients in Africa who for years, in cases, are unable to access health care to repair their childbirth injuries.

Then I was introduced to two books, "The Life You Can Save" and "Half the Sky" both of which I reviewed (links go to my reviews) where I learned some of the simple ways to make an impact in relieving the suffering and poverty of women in developing countries.

In some ways, the activism work that can be done there seems much more simple than the activism that I do there. In developing countries, often it is infrastructure building and small micro-loans that can make a world of different to women and children who are without means to care for and educate themselves.  Yet, here in the United States, and especially with birth activism, its not about lack of resources its about misplaced resources. It is easier to build something than it is to move a monstrosity of an establishment that is entrenched in its ways.

Maybe its an act of trying to comfort myself, when I feel discouraged in getting obstetric violence laws enacted in the United States, or changing the way providers treat women during labor, I know I can get on Kiva.org and make a loan that will better someone's life.

But yet it goes beyond that, I want my children to have an awareness of the world that extends beyond vacations and resorts. I'd like to take them to Africa someday, not to stay where the tourists are, but to work with an organization like THARCE-Gulu where they can play with the local children, while my husband and I work to make a difference in people's lives. If one is going to travel to see the country and learn the culture, than what better way than among its people?

Please excuse the disjointedness of this entry. I am making sense of what is available to me and what I can realistically do. As a child being raised an a Unitarian Universalist, I developed a desire to make a difference and change the world. Now as a young mother, I'm still figuring it out. For a while I thought it was through my own family and being a mother to my children. But in being a mother, I found that I can be involved in changing the world for them. And it is through those efforts, that they too might have a desire to change the world for others. I do not need to put off these efforts until they are older, Someday I do hope to be a service missionary for my church and travel to countries in need of humanitarian aid, but as I learn about volunteer opportunities, I find that I can do some of it now and with children.

My next step is to figure out which organizations will encourage families to volunteer together. I know of WWOOF.org where families with young children can go and volunteer on organic farms around the world. I hope that someday my husband and I will do a trip like that, but I also would like to find opportunities that are more in line with my interests as a feminist, and birth activist.  Do you know of any?

Geeking out with Christ's birth

I found this tonight which I think is interesting:

December 8th: Immaculate Conception of Maryis celebrated in many Latin countries as, according to Catholic doctrine, the day of the conception of the Virgin Mary. The doctrine says that God had preserved Mary from original sin, giving her his grace, the divine life of Jesus Christ.

Read more at Suite101: Winter Holidays, Celebrate December!

This is actually referring to Mary's conception and birth but my mind immediately went to thinking about Christ's conception, and Mary's pregnancy with him. Fitting as its Christmas time and all.

We know that Christ wasn't actually born at Christmas time with most scholars thinking that he was actually born early to mid-Spring. Latter-day Saints believe he was born in April. Using the date, April 6, I thought it would be very cool to know the date of his conception AND birth.

If he had been born at 40 weeks gestation exactly, he would have been conceived in mid July. Using the birthing window that many women not ever faithful in their calculated due date, He may have been born between 37 weeks to be full term and 44 weeks at the outside, meaning he could have been conceived as early as mid June or as late as early August.

Wit that, I then ponder what those last few days of Mary's pregnancy was like based on those 2 scenarios.

First:

The Mary is compelled to go to Nazareth with Joseph to pay the taxes decreed by Cyrenius and she was full-term but not quite to 40 weeks. Maybe she was 37 or 38 weeks pregnant. She hopes that on the trip the baby will not be born and she can return to her home in Galilee to give birth after the tax collecting is done.

The long, arduous, dusty and dehydrating trip caused contractions to start before her due date. As she arrives in Nazareth and they are looking for an inn, she is having contractions and they are increasing in intensity and regularity. If she were me, she'd been freaking out a little. They settle into the stable and within a few hours, Christ is born into hers or Joseph's hands.

The other scenario:

She's past her due date like the majority of first time moms, the baby hasn't been born yet and they have to get to Nazareth to obey the decree of the governor. She hopes that either the baby will wait until after they get back or that the baby can be born before they leave. In most mother's minds, anything is better than laboring on the back of a donkey or giving birth far from home without the presence of wise women: mother, aunts, sisters and cousins. She doesn't get her wish and contractions start during the trip. She's contracting while trying to find a place to birth her baby. The stable does the job and the Christ child is born there.

Either way, my heart goes out to this young girl who gave birth far from her family and home amongst animals and hay. Maybe she was as Zen about it as she is portrayed in the scriptures, but maybe that was a very stressful and upsetting situation for her to be in. Either way, I've been in both of the situations described above. And honestly, I think the over-due scenario would be worse.

Though its not mentioned, I do guess that Mary and Joseph would have been able to locate a midwife to attend the birth if they so chose. Though perhaps it was in the day when the midwife only was called when assistance was needed after some concern or complication arose. Whether Christ's birth was attended by a midwife or unassisted is a toss-up. The unassisted birthers like to claim that Christ was an unassisted birth, so for the sake of not knowing, I won't rain on their parade.

Alright, end of birth geek mode at Christmas time, but that's what you get from a midwifery student...

Sacroiliac Joint Dysfunction

I've mentioned before that I've had intermittent hip pain since my last pregnancy. I had a spell for about a year where it didn't bother me (from August of 2009 to around May of 2010) so I thought it was something that I could just let work itself out. At some point, I realized that its become too much of a fixture in my life so I needed to do something about finding the root cause. On my birthday this year, it got really bad again so I became serious about addressing it.

I recently visited my naturopathic doctor/midwife who listened and poked around my hip and lower back to try to isolate where the pain was coming from. She mentioned the sacroiliac joint (a joint connecting the sacrum in the low back to the pelvic girdle. Its connected with ligaments and covered with cartilage). She then referred me to a physical therapist who specializes in lumbar-pelvic PT. While I'm waiting for an appointment with the PT, I've been doing some internet homework to try to figure out what is going on. With sacroiliac as a clue, I started my searches.

And this is what I found:

Another common cause of SI joint dysfunction is pregnancy. During pregnancy, hormones are released in the woman's body that allows ligaments to relax. This prepares the body for childbirth. Relaxation of the ligaments holding the SI joints together allows for increased motion in the joints and can lead to increased stresses and abnormal wear. The additional weight and walking pattern (altered gait) associated with pregnancy also places additional stress on the SI joints.

Any condition that alters the normal walking pattern places increased stress on the SI joints. This could include a leg length discrepancy (one leg longer than the other), or pain in the hip, knee, ankle, or foot. Patients with severe pain in the lower extremity often develop problems with either the lower back (lumbar spine) or SI joints. In most cases if the underlying problem is treated, the associated lumbar spine or SI joint dysfunction will also improve.

The most common symptom of SI joint dysfunction is pain. Patients often experience pain in the lower back or the back of the hips. Pain may also be present in the groin and thighs. In many cases, it can be difficult to determine the exact source of the pain. Inflammation and arthritis in the SI joint can also cause stiffness and a burning sensation in the pelvis. 1

Several things can aggravate the SI Joint too. Continual sitting or lying on the affected side will impinge nerves and skew the pelvis. Remember, the body will adopt a bad posture and accept it as normal after a period of time. The pain often worsens when riding in a car, sitting in a movie theater or putting weight on the hips while walking (for example, carrying a child). 2

As I read these findings, I was nodding along.

Pregnancy? Yes

Short leg? Yes (caused by scoliosis)

Pain in the low back, hip, thigh, and thigh, stiffness, burning, and difficulty determining the source of pain? yes, yes and yes.

Sitting or laying on the affected side aggravates? Yes

Worsened pain when carrying a child and walking? Yes (that's exactly what brought it on today, actually)

I'm still using chiropractic, yoga, massage and hip circles to address it. Hip circles, actually, make the most difference when my SI is tight and hurting. I'll have to remember to eat eggs for breakfast tomorrow and its probably time to make my grandma's famous baked custard because that's a mega dose of eggs and so good.

In addition to suggesting physical therapy, my naturopath suggested looking into craniosacral work. She also gave me a medical referral for massage. And she reminded me, which is embarrassing that I completely forgot, about homeopathic arnica for muscle soreness. I've also been seeing an Upper-Cervical chiropractor which is new and different for me than the typical pop and crack chiropractors I've been seeing.

At this point, my husband and I swearing off conceiving another baby. In my lower moments, I come close to despairing and giving up getting pregnant again ever. We even put the option of surgical sterilization on the table, which is a momentous and terrifying thought to me. In having those conversations, I realize in a new way how much I love and appreciate the children I have. I knew then that I can be happy being mother to my two and not regret having another. Still, if it is possible, I hope to recover enough that I can physically handle another one or two or three pregnancies and births. My hopes aren't so high so I can content myself with whatever that is coming my way.

Based on what Vanessa said on my blog page, I'm glad that I'm planning to put off more births. She told the story:

"That is what derailed my planned homebirth with Tess. It was excruciating and worse than any labor pain -at one point, I almost blacked out, threw up and peed myself from the pain. Thought I was in transition -except I was 1cm and 50% effac...ed. Saw an osteopath at 40+3 who tried her best to fix it, but couldn't really do anything. It took a long time to get better. I mainly saw the osteopath, but have also considered a chiropractor (and acupuncture) in case it comes up again in a future pregnancy."

I definitely hope I can avoid that. I have heard acupuncture being helpful for hip joint problems but I haven't pursued it yet either.

I'll update as I meet with and learn more from the physical therapist. I do hope that we can welcome additional biological children into our family and that it will not be at the expense of my physical well-being.

If you are interested in reading other posts that chronicle what I now know is SI joint dysfunction see the following posts (starting from earliest to most recent):

Belle's Birth Story: I describe the moment I felt my SI stretch abruptly.

Not a very interesting update: I describe the hip pain for the first time
Been Away: Started yoga at 3 months postpartum to be gentle on my hip (instead of returning to Irish dance)
Preparing to conceive again: I started wanting another baby but was feeling ambivalent because of my hip problems.
A remedy that might help my hip pain: I learned about lecithin to relieve joint pain
Check that Off the Bucket List: My husband and I took a massage class where he learned some strategies to help massage my hip when its hurting

Midwifery Inquisition: Enrolling in Ancient Art Midwifery Institute

Today I learned that AAMI is offering a new discounted price of $2850 for their 3 1/2 year advanced midwifery study coursework and I told some friends about it. I've gotten a couple of questions in response, so I figured I would share them with my readers because many others have the same questions or would also appreciate my answers.

Courtney wrote:

Hi Jenne,

I hadn't thought to start my education and training so soon, but this looks like a fabulous opportunity. There is a line on their website that actually mentions getting it done with young children so that it is possible to start practice when they are older. Just what I had in mind so it really spoke to me.

I know that you have started the coursework yourself, so I was interested in how easy you think it will be to truly work on it with babies around. Also, will I really be able to do it all at a distance, until apprenticing? And which of the extra coursework packages would you recommend? I like the idea of getting a bit more in depth education while I can and having longer to complete it, but was curious if you thought it was worth it.

Also, do you have an opinion on Doula certification programs? I've looked into several, and like the philosophies of Childbirth International, Birth Art International, and CAPPA and ALACE. DONA seems wise for referrals and recognition, but I don't like how rigid their restrictions and philosophy appears to be.

I was going to work on this first before midwifery, but maybe I will do them simultaneously.

Any feedback would be appreciated.

Thanks!
Courtney

Hi Courtney (and Chrissy who also asked)

I found myself in the same situation as you. I knew I wanted to do it and then was offered a discounted price and decided to take it up now instead of waiting until later. I've been enrolled since June and I have set aside Saturday mornings to work on it. I find that I can make really good progress if I have that 2-3 hours to just sit down, focus and get to work. Throughout the week I am able to get another few hours in after the children go to sleep at night. I've set up a work space right next to their play area so I can work on some of the definitions and worksheets (to help you take notes on important texts) while they play. Each definition takes a few minutes so if I'm interrupted frequently, there's no interference. Then there is nap time when I can get a bit done. That's how I've been able to work on all my organizations and schooling. I am looking forward to more interrupted time to work when my mom is closer to us and can watch the children, but so far I'm doing fine with my husband being my back-up and not hiring out for childcare.

At this point, I'm not planning on enrolling in any of the extras. I feel like I need to focus on the basic and minimum requirements and if I want to take on additional options later, I'll do that. I do expect to do a number of AEUs and will probably go for the Masters in Midwifery. Right now, I'm so involved in my phase of coursework that I haven't given much though to additional coursework. From what I've seen, AAMI offers so many extras that I have to streamline and learn to say no to some opportunities so I can be successful in my original commitments.

At one point, I looked into all of the doula certifying courses and I came to same conclusion as you about DONA. You might want to look into PALS which is local to the Northwest because its less impacted by political compromises like DONA has been. The in-person sessions would be in the Seattle area but only 3 days a time so you might be able to travel to the distance (and I don't know, stay with friends in the area...). I never got as far as choosing which doula certification program to do because I realized my interest was more in midwifery.

One thing to keep is mind is that AAMI does encourage its students to become childbirth educators in the course of the program so you may find that you'll end up do both, all three or dropping doula because support is covered in the midwifery training.

One thing that should be clear that AAMI is training midwives to be home birth attendants only. You would have the option of taking the test to become a CPM (certified professional midwife) which may allow you in some states to work in birth centers or hospitals. Basically by enrolling in AAMI, you are stating your allegiance to personal, in home, mother-centered care and supportive ultimately of a woman's right and ability to make choices for herself. These choices could include giving birth unassisted and the coursework provides training to you on the why's and hows of being supportive of women who choose that course. This is radical, feminist midwifery with a God-fearing bent. Its amazing and wonderful and I love it. In July I attended a Midwifery Skills Lab where I met other AAMI students, teachers and the founder and they are virtuous Christian feminist women, not what I was expecting from a profession that is stereotyped as atheist hippies.

Let me know if there are other questions I can answer. I would love to have a personal connection with someone also enrolled in the program.