It is You I Have Loved

You'd think that a love song would be sung to the love of one's life, but in the case of the song below (Dana Glover's It is You I Have Loved from the Shrek Soundtrack), when I sing it, its dedicated to my first child.

I can't say that the lyrics apply to my relationship with my husband, because even after we were married, I knew there was something missing in my life. I felt like I was on earth still searching for my home; the place I belonged and was supposed to be. When Peter and I were married, he didn't complete me. I had made an effort to be a "whole" person when I married so my spouse wasn't missing something from me. I believe that the individuals in a married need to be whole people that are then bound to each other to become a greater whole, rather than the romantic notion that each are incomplete or only half a person until they are married to become one.

There is something that I see
In the way you look at me
There's a smile, there's a truth in your eyes

But an unexpected way
On this unexpected day
Could it mean this is where I belong
It is you I have loved all along

It's no more mystery
It is finally clear to me
You're the home my heart searched for so long
And it is you I have loved all along

There were times I ran to hide
Afraid to show the other side
Alone in the night without you

But now I know just who you are
And I know you hold my heart
Finally this is where I belong
It is you I have loved all along

It's no more mystery
It is finally clear to me
You're the home my heart searched for so long
And it is you I have loved all along

Over and over
I'm filled with emotion
Your love, it rushes through my veins

And I am filled
With the sweetest devotion
As I, I look into your perfect face

It's no more mystery
It is finally clear to me
You're the home my heart searched for so long
And it is you I have loved
It is you I have loved
It is you I have loved all along

So I was suprised when I discovered that becoming a mother meant that I finally found "this is where I belong" and that it was my child that "I have loved all along." As Willem's mother, I am home and I am complete for this stage of my life. I am "filled with the sweetest devotion" when I look into his eyes, hold, cuddle, and nurse him. Even after marriage, my heart was still searching for meaning and the sense that I belonged somewhere doing something important. And Willem, and any other children I bear, is what has given my life new meaning and purpose.