Thursday, July 10, 2008

Baby Dance

Lately, I've been yearning for a baby. I can feel it deep in my uterus. My body is wanting to birth another baby. I am happy for all the friends and moms I hear are pregnant and I congratulate them. At the same time, I wish I could be pregnant again too. I have been slightly frustrated by remaining infertile as I've been breastfeeding. Shorter lutuel phases are making conception unlikely. My husband's and my efforts are turned to prayer that soon we will be able to conceive again. Last night a wrote a poem that manifests my desire:

Dance with me, spritely child.
Dwelling in my fertile womb,
At my breast so full with milky white moonlight
And wrapped in my arms.
Together we dance
First your father and I, warm breath and tangled limbs
Gentle words and loving carresses
Next you and me
The fluid dance of red-gloden light.
The motions build as we coordinate our moves.
Shifting, swaying, turning, twisting.
Daddy steps in again with strong hands
and the strength to hold us all.
Gently, with excitment, exuberance and toil
We call out to each other- "Let us Meet!"
To dance with each other outside the womb.
At that pinnacle, we dance some more.
Welcomed feet first, head first
-however you choose to dance into this world.
Our rhythms matched and adapting to each other
While the hum of angelic energy brightens the air.
And then, you are at my breast.
Curled against our warm bodies
And cradled in our arms.
To sway and shift throughout our days
And through our nights.
Just as we did the night you were born.


siobhan said...

when i sent you a message yesterday, i originally typed that i couldn't wait for you to have another baby, but i deleted it... never know how people might feel, you know?

i know your next baby's birth will be so healing for you. i hate what my oldest went through at birth and i would change it if i could... but i can't and now, it seems almost poignant that she paved the way for her younger sisters. her sisters may never have had such beautiful births had she not borne the brunt of the mishandling of her delivery. of course it never should have happened anyway, but each babe i gently birth heals that hurt a little more.

hang in there, mama! i got pregnant while breastfeeding three times. one was hard-earned, but two were total surprises. good luck! i can't wait to hear about your bfp!

siobhan (again!) said...

wow, check out the grammar on my last paragraph! but you know what i mean... :)

Rixa said...

I'm in the same camp as you right now Jenne--wanting to get pregnant but so far no luck. I have very short luteal cycles anyway (which may or may not have contributed to the years of infertility we faced before I got pregnant with Zari). I want to have a big family and Zari to have siblings, but I feel like I have very little control in this aspect of my life!