I came to UC through a traumatic hospital birth, but I feel I can truly say that
it is not why I choose to UC. Before my son's birth, I didn't know that UC was
an option, and not one that I would have considered. I thought that babies were
born in hospitals for good reason, not knowing (or taking the time to find out)
the history behind hospital birthing.
After becoming a mother, I started really learning about birth: to make sense of
what happened in the hospital and to prepare myself for something different and
better for the next birth (which I'm about a month away from now!--so be warned
that the following is all theory at this point. We'll see if and how the
following changes after the new baby is born).
Being LDS, knowing that I am meant to have more than one child and having a
strong sense of justice, I knew I had to find a better way to birth. I likely
would have been comfortable with a birth center with a midwife but I felt drawn
to UC when I heard about it for a few different reasons.
Here they are:
Faith and trust in Heavenly Father and His creation (my body and baby)
Intimacy with husband
Freedom to follow instinct
Privacy/ not being hindered by observation
Being fully responsible
As I studied and reflected upon the scriptures after my first birth, I
frequently came back to "leaning on the arm of flesh." I felt that is exactly
what I did during my first birth and pregnancy. Rather than trusting in HF and
turning to him for guidance and support, I turned to the omniscient cult of
medicine and put my trust there. I was burned big time and I feel I needed that
experience to teach me to truly turn to God and put my faith there with Him.
This desire to trust Heavenly Father also ties into my respect for His creation.
Life on earth amazes me as I learn more about it. Birth and the woman's
capability to grow and birth a baby is another example of how his creation works
most of the time. And I believe that its works best when the organism is
trusting in Him as it strives to fill the measure of its creation. The measure
of my creation is being able to birth my babies and to give Him the glory I feel
it deserves, I want those births to be the purest they can be so the credit is
given to Him and his ability to create a body that can grow and birth a baby
without a bunch of meddling. When I learned about UC, I saw that the practice
could be a pinnacle of faith in that process because the outcome would be the
ideal: a healthy mother and baby united by peace and love. Since then, I've
learned that, for me, the pinnacle of faith would know be to trust in man in a
case of an emergency birth. I would have to receive VERY strong promptings from
the Spirit to turn to the hospital for assistance in birth. I'm that terrified
and distrusting of the whole medicalized system of birth care. And then my
decision to UC plays into my faith in the abilities of babies. HF has engineered
them to be so capable of so many things that many adults don't give them credit
for. Because babies aren't believed to be capable of those things, the
opportunity is taken away from them. The breast crawl is an example of this. I'm
just amazed at the active role that babies play in the birth process and I want
to respect that innate ability and once again glory God in His creations of
babies that most of the time come out healthy and perfect just like He intended.
I have to say that I was swayed by Lynn Greisemer's theory of husband
involvement in birth. I like the romantic notion that the person who put the
baby in my body during an intimate, sacred act of creation would be the one to
witness the coming forth of that fruit in another intimate, sacred setting. I
have this sense that birth is supposed to be spiritual and intimate with a
deepening of the husband/wife connection. I also know that during my first
birth, labor was started by engaging in intercourse. So I learned that being
intimate with my husband was one way to call a baby forth from my body. Then
later I learned that it might have been advantageous to be intimate again during
early labor and maintain that cuddling, kissing connection throughout the whole
process. I found having birth attendants there just interfered with that ability
to connect with my husband to the point that he was a peripheral character that
was just present and pushed to the side. I don't want that to happen to him
again. I want the birth of our babies to be something that we do together since
it was coming together than created that baby in the first place.
Just like I felt that the typical birthing settings interfered with the
husband/wife connection, I also felt like it interfered with my own ability to
listen to what my body was telling me. I was so in the mindset that I was going
to be guided by more knowledgeable people that I didn't take the opportunity to
follow my instincts, which I trust and believe were ingrained in me by Heavenly
Father. So being able to follow my instincts ties into being able to have the
trust in God and his processes.
In order to have that freedom to follow my instinct, my faith and the connection
with my husband, I feel that privacy is very important. I don't think that I
could experience those things with strangers present. Especially strangers that
are "paid to be paranoid" (<---borrowing from Jeanine Parvati Baker). I learned
that I could not trust them because invariably their own sense of
comfort/perservation/convenience is going to interfere in some way. And even if
the attendant is the best they can be in not interfering, just having their
presence there would be intrusive to me. Even them knowing that I'm in labor
would be intrusive to me...which is likely why I don't plan on informing the
midwifery practice I have as back-up when I go into labor. I anticipate that I'd
be able to feel their thoughts and concerns and I'd just ruminate on what they
were thinking, feeling, etc.
The last reason is likely my strongest bit of rebellion. I feel that it is
deeply ingrained in our culture to give away our responsibility to others in
order to share the blame in case something bad or wrong happens. Outsourcing or
hiring out for help in something, to me, is an indication of seeking to not be
responsible in case it is done wrong and to have some one else to hold
responsible. I don't want to give away my responsible and stewardship as a
parent starting with birth. I want to be the one to make decisions for myself
and my children, according to my conscience and the guidance I receive in my
decisions. As a preschool teacher, I saw so many parents abdicate their roles as
parents to someone else and it saddened me to see that rift occurring at such
young ages. I was surprised to learn that it started during pregnancy and birth.
Since I had never witnessed it before, it took experiencing it to know that
there are entire systems out there that (inadvertently) undermine parents'
autonomy. In my understanding of the gospel, that's not how it is supposed to
work. Self-reliance and trust in God are important values to me and I see how I
can apply those principles to birthing and hopefully that will be a lesson to my
children in taking responsibility for their own actions so they will make
prayerful, well thought out decisions without going along with the pack.
I really am interested to see how my perspective changes after this baby is
born. Like I said this is all in theory now, not having given birth UC at this
point. I'm looking forward to it though! I'm 34 weeks now. I have to admit that
there is some fear in me that says that I'm going to sour on the idea of UC when
I attempt it and fail. We'll see how the process unfolds. I'm believing that all
will be well and I'll have a lovely private, intimate homebirth. And maybe if
someday I have to turn to the maternity care system for assistance that I'll be
humble enough to do it...and in the meantime I'll hope that I never have to.
Tuesday, April 28, 2009
Why I am a UCer
One of my online groups asked each member to explain their personal reasons for UCing. This was my response:
Thursday, March 12, 2009
Helping and Preventing Birth Trauma
We are pleased to announce the Solace for Mothers Friends and Advocates Online Community which provides a forum for those who support mothers who have experienced birth trauma, have been impacted by witnessing birth trauma, or want to connect with others to advocate for gentler birth practices.
Solace for Mothers is committed to providing resources and support to professionals and loved ones supporting women through the difficult emotions following a disappointing, hurtful, or violating birth experience. Spouses, family, and friends of mothers who have experienced traumatic births are offered a space to find information, support, and resources through participation in the Friends and Advocates Forum. Birth attendants are also provided with the opportunity to process their own emotions in response to births they have attended. Birth professionals and birth advocates are provided a space to discuss the causes of birth trauma, how policies and programs can be enacted to prevent trauma from occurring to childbearing mothers, and methods of treatment when trauma has occurred.
The Solace for Mothers Friends and Advocates Online Community welcomes birth activists, mothers, families, and professionals, all of whom are stakeholders in providing healthy, safe, and empowering births that enable families to successfully transition to parenthood. Users of the online community are invited to contemplate and discuss the current state of birth and what evidence based practices best support childbearing women, their babies and families. Advocates who are interested in becoming involved in organized efforts to promote these practices are encouraged to participate and share their thoughts.
The Friends and Advocates Online Community can be entered from www.solaceformothers.org/advocates-forum.html. The forum is made public for browsing and registration is required to post and respond to topics. To view the online community, go to: http://forums.solaceformothers.org/mb/birthtrauma
Mothers are welcome to participate in the Friends and Advocates role but they are invited to register and participate in the Online Community for Healing Birth Trauma (www.solaceformothers.org/forum.html) which provides peer support to women who have had traumatic childbearing experiences. Birth professionals, family members, and friends please respect the privacy of the Community for Healing Birth Trauma and register only for the Friends and Advocates Community.
If you have something to say regarding childbirth and want to be a part of a larger conversation, please join us. We are interested to read your stories, thoughts, hopes and goals for the future! Please also feel free to pass this invitation on to organizations and individuals who would be interested in the topics of birth trauma and improving maternity care.
Warmly,
Sharon Storton, Founder of Solace for Mothers, Inc.
Jenne Alderks, Creator and Moderator of Online Communities
Jennifer Zimmerman, Creator and Moderator of Online Communities
Solace for Mothers is committed to providing resources and support to professionals and loved ones supporting women through the difficult emotions following a disappointing, hurtful, or violating birth experience. Spouses, family, and friends of mothers who have experienced traumatic births are offered a space to find information, support, and resources through participation in the Friends and Advocates Forum. Birth attendants are also provided with the opportunity to process their own emotions in response to births they have attended. Birth professionals and birth advocates are provided a space to discuss the causes of birth trauma, how policies and programs can be enacted to prevent trauma from occurring to childbearing mothers, and methods of treatment when trauma has occurred.
The Solace for Mothers Friends and Advocates Online Community welcomes birth activists, mothers, families, and professionals, all of whom are stakeholders in providing healthy, safe, and empowering births that enable families to successfully transition to parenthood. Users of the online community are invited to contemplate and discuss the current state of birth and what evidence based practices best support childbearing women, their babies and families. Advocates who are interested in becoming involved in organized efforts to promote these practices are encouraged to participate and share their thoughts.
The Friends and Advocates Online Community can be entered from www.solaceformothers.org/advocates-forum.html. The forum is made public for browsing and registration is required to post and respond to topics. To view the online community, go to: http://forums.solaceformothers.org/mb/birthtrauma
Mothers are welcome to participate in the Friends and Advocates role but they are invited to register and participate in the Online Community for Healing Birth Trauma (www.solaceformothers.org/forum.html) which provides peer support to women who have had traumatic childbearing experiences. Birth professionals, family members, and friends please respect the privacy of the Community for Healing Birth Trauma and register only for the Friends and Advocates Community.
If you have something to say regarding childbirth and want to be a part of a larger conversation, please join us. We are interested to read your stories, thoughts, hopes and goals for the future! Please also feel free to pass this invitation on to organizations and individuals who would be interested in the topics of birth trauma and improving maternity care.
Warmly,
Sharon Storton, Founder of Solace for Mothers, Inc.
Jenne Alderks, Creator and Moderator of Online Communities
Jennifer Zimmerman, Creator and Moderator of Online Communities
Monday, March 9, 2009
If I were to birth in my hometown
I recently started entertaining the thought of birthing my baby in my hometown of Stockton, CA. Many of my friends are still living there and beginning to have babies, so I've learned a little bit about the birth climate there. All of my friends there have had hospital births, which is not too surprising. I have been disappointed by the number of primary cesareans that my friends have experienced. I took that to be an indicator that the hospitals in Stockton aren't incredibly supportive of physiological birth.
A quick search showed me that there are no homebirth midwives working in the city of Stockton, and no out of hospital birthing centers. The nearest birthing center is 50 miles away in Fair Oaks, with two more in San Francisco and Oakland, respectively. The nearest homebirth midwives are 40 miles away in the Sacramento area.
I decided to look at the websites for the two main hospitals in the city of Stockton: Dameron (where I was born 24 years ago) and St. Joseph's. I was not encouraged with my options when I read this:
For a more detailed description of their practices, see their PDF entitled "Welcome to Life--Guide to Pregnancy, Birth and Postpartum."
Dameron's information was a little more encouraging:
Based on the experiences of my friends and my own interpretation of available materials, I'd probably choose Dameron over St. Joseph's if I needed a hospital, but I'm so opposed to a planned hospital birth that I'd be more likely (if I lived there) to find a homebirth midwife outside the city. This investigation has not encouraged me to change my plan in the slightest. I feel that the state of Washington provides me with more choices and access to better care than I could get in the Stockton area.
So the plan goes forward that both of our first children will be able to claim Washington as their state of birth. Once the new baby and I are fit to travel (no sooner than 1 week postpartum), we'll be driving down to spend the summer in Stockton while my husband does his summer research on the California coast.
More general information on birth choices in the Stockton area is that St. Joseph's has an all out ban on VBACs while Dameron does allow VBACS, although a statement refusing the C-section must be signed. That leads me to believe that women are strongly encouraged to consent to an elective repeat cesarean. It appears the hospital staff is rather persuasive since in the county, 96.5% of women have a repeat cesarean(source: March of Dimes Peristats for San Joaquin County, CA).
A quick search showed me that there are no homebirth midwives working in the city of Stockton, and no out of hospital birthing centers. The nearest birthing center is 50 miles away in Fair Oaks, with two more in San Francisco and Oakland, respectively. The nearest homebirth midwives are 40 miles away in the Sacramento area.
I decided to look at the websites for the two main hospitals in the city of Stockton: Dameron (where I was born 24 years ago) and St. Joseph's. I was not encouraged with my options when I read this:
The baby's father or support person may visit from 7 a.m. to 10 p.m.
Only two people, in addition to the support person, may visit at one time.
Children under age 12 are not allowed in the department. Exception - after delivery, brothers and sisters of the newborn, accompanied by an adult, are welcome during regular visiting hours. Short visits are best for your children.
Visitors must not have fever, cold, cold sores, diarrhea, vomiting, rash or skin sores. Those who have been exposed to illnesses such as chickenpox or measles may not visit.
Labor and Delivery:
One additional person, other than the support person, may be present during labor and delivery. We ask that all other visitors wait in the visitor's lounge, (not the hallway).
Only the support person may accompany the expectant mom for a Cesarean delivery.
For a more detailed description of their practices, see their PDF entitled "Welcome to Life--Guide to Pregnancy, Birth and Postpartum."
Dameron's information was a little more encouraging:
The Alex and Faye Spanos Start of Life Center
This holistic focus is reflected in our Start of Life Center. A generous gift from Alex and Faye Spanos, the Start of Life Center operates on the concept of "Family Centered Care," where birth is treated as a total family experience. From the time an expectant mother experiences her first labor symptoms and arrives at the hospital, through the actual delivery of her child, she receives total maternity care without ever having to leave the pleasant and comfortable environment of her home-style birthing room.
The Labor and Delivery Department is staffed by highly trained Registered Nurses sensitive to both the emotional and medical needs of pregnancies and birth situations.
Based on the experiences of my friends and my own interpretation of available materials, I'd probably choose Dameron over St. Joseph's if I needed a hospital, but I'm so opposed to a planned hospital birth that I'd be more likely (if I lived there) to find a homebirth midwife outside the city. This investigation has not encouraged me to change my plan in the slightest. I feel that the state of Washington provides me with more choices and access to better care than I could get in the Stockton area.
So the plan goes forward that both of our first children will be able to claim Washington as their state of birth. Once the new baby and I are fit to travel (no sooner than 1 week postpartum), we'll be driving down to spend the summer in Stockton while my husband does his summer research on the California coast.
More general information on birth choices in the Stockton area is that St. Joseph's has an all out ban on VBACs while Dameron does allow VBACS, although a statement refusing the C-section must be signed. That leads me to believe that women are strongly encouraged to consent to an elective repeat cesarean. It appears the hospital staff is rather persuasive since in the county, 96.5% of women have a repeat cesarean(source: March of Dimes Peristats for San Joaquin County, CA).
Reporting on CIMS
I came away from the 2009 CIMS Forum feeling like the take home message was the same as we all know: the maternity care system is messing up women and children. It was interesting to me to find out what different people are doing in different places.
I went to one presentation that discussed violations of the Mother-Friendly Childbirth Initiative as violence against women. The researchers (from Canada) qualitatively analyzed women's experiences (using interviews) that showed how women felt victimized by their maternity care. The researchers put together a really cool little chart that helps to illustrate it and I'm planning on filling one out with events from my own birth experience. I am just gratified that it is being framed in those words--that violations of informed consent are violent acts being perpetrated against women. I hope that the awareness becomes more accepted. I felt that their presentation and Solace for Mothers presentation worked well together, because they made the case for us that birth professionals are causing trauma and then we were able to follow up with the message "this is the outcome for women who experience that trauma and this is how we can help."
There was talk at the conference that the powerpoints from many of the presentations will be available on the CIMS website at some point, including the one I participated in for Solace for Mothers.
I also finally attended the Birth Survey marketing training and I realized that since I helped edit the training manual and powerpoint presentation that I pretty much knew all of it. But I did meet Nasima and Elan (the co-chairs of the Birth Survey Project) and it was really good to be able to meet them in person and visit a little bit. Here is a run-dowm of some of the Birth Survey results that Nasima unveiled: The sample of people who are responded so far is a little more educated that the national average, but not shockingly so. The most typical time for women to complete the survey is actually 9-15 months postpartum so marketing ambassadors are now being told to target pediatricians offices (and they will be more like to post the info than OBs because peditricians aren't going to be as threatened by the results). Probably most surprising is that the birth outcomes are pretty inline with the national data: the C-section rate isn't too far off, the percentage of hospital births, etc. Nasima did find that the questions regarding if you would recommend a provider, if a provider answered questions well and were respectful were highly correlated to whether a woman ranked that provider positively or negatively. So it appears that those questions are good indicators of overall quality and if women are saying they had a good experience.
Henci Goer gave a really good presentation on interpretting the research. She pointed out that a lot of birth activists are citing "Evidence Based Care" as the answer to the maternity care problems (think of the new report that came out a couple of months ago). I saw alot of that too but it must be realized that a lot of research is inherently flawed, that some researchers mess with their data, others draw conclusions not supported by their data, etc. Its stuff that I already knew, as a researcher, but may not be known by those who don't have the background in research. I think its a good thing to get the word out about.
For most of the conference, I was just making due since I had Willem with me. One day I couldn't find any childcare for him so he ended up attending the sessions with me. He did great and didn't appear to be a disruption to anyone but I didn't get as much out of it as I would have if he had been able to stay home. I'm not complaining though because it was still a very good experience. I'm happy to have learned what I did, and met the people that I did.
At one point, the different CIMS committees did overviews of their work and I'm kind of drawn toward working with the Informed Consent Committee. Coming up in the Winter 2009 issue Journal of Perinatal Education will be an article compiled by that team called "Informed Decision Making in Maternity Care." Another article with Maddy Oden as the lead author will be published in the May issue. Solace for Mothers is working on a tool that would be available for expecting mothers to use when choosing their maternity care provider. It may be an advantagous partnernship for CIMS and Solace to work together.
I went to one presentation that discussed violations of the Mother-Friendly Childbirth Initiative as violence against women. The researchers (from Canada) qualitatively analyzed women's experiences (using interviews) that showed how women felt victimized by their maternity care. The researchers put together a really cool little chart that helps to illustrate it and I'm planning on filling one out with events from my own birth experience. I am just gratified that it is being framed in those words--that violations of informed consent are violent acts being perpetrated against women. I hope that the awareness becomes more accepted. I felt that their presentation and Solace for Mothers presentation worked well together, because they made the case for us that birth professionals are causing trauma and then we were able to follow up with the message "this is the outcome for women who experience that trauma and this is how we can help."
There was talk at the conference that the powerpoints from many of the presentations will be available on the CIMS website at some point, including the one I participated in for Solace for Mothers.
I also finally attended the Birth Survey marketing training and I realized that since I helped edit the training manual and powerpoint presentation that I pretty much knew all of it. But I did meet Nasima and Elan (the co-chairs of the Birth Survey Project) and it was really good to be able to meet them in person and visit a little bit. Here is a run-dowm of some of the Birth Survey results that Nasima unveiled: The sample of people who are responded so far is a little more educated that the national average, but not shockingly so. The most typical time for women to complete the survey is actually 9-15 months postpartum so marketing ambassadors are now being told to target pediatricians offices (and they will be more like to post the info than OBs because peditricians aren't going to be as threatened by the results). Probably most surprising is that the birth outcomes are pretty inline with the national data: the C-section rate isn't too far off, the percentage of hospital births, etc. Nasima did find that the questions regarding if you would recommend a provider, if a provider answered questions well and were respectful were highly correlated to whether a woman ranked that provider positively or negatively. So it appears that those questions are good indicators of overall quality and if women are saying they had a good experience.
Henci Goer gave a really good presentation on interpretting the research. She pointed out that a lot of birth activists are citing "Evidence Based Care" as the answer to the maternity care problems (think of the new report that came out a couple of months ago). I saw alot of that too but it must be realized that a lot of research is inherently flawed, that some researchers mess with their data, others draw conclusions not supported by their data, etc. Its stuff that I already knew, as a researcher, but may not be known by those who don't have the background in research. I think its a good thing to get the word out about.
For most of the conference, I was just making due since I had Willem with me. One day I couldn't find any childcare for him so he ended up attending the sessions with me. He did great and didn't appear to be a disruption to anyone but I didn't get as much out of it as I would have if he had been able to stay home. I'm not complaining though because it was still a very good experience. I'm happy to have learned what I did, and met the people that I did.
At one point, the different CIMS committees did overviews of their work and I'm kind of drawn toward working with the Informed Consent Committee. Coming up in the Winter 2009 issue Journal of Perinatal Education will be an article compiled by that team called "Informed Decision Making in Maternity Care." Another article with Maddy Oden as the lead author will be published in the May issue. Solace for Mothers is working on a tool that would be available for expecting mothers to use when choosing their maternity care provider. It may be an advantagous partnernship for CIMS and Solace to work together.
Tuesday, March 3, 2009
Going to CIMS
This weekend, I'll be attending the CIMS (Coalition for Improving Maternity Services) Forum in San Diego. Sharon Storton from Solace for Mothers will be speaking on the services that Solace provides mothers who have experienced traumatic birth and how the utilization of the CIMS Mother Friendly Initiative can prevent birth trauma from occurring. Other speakers will be Henci Goer and Phyllis Klaus. I'll also be able to attend the CIMS Marketing Ambassadors Training which I haven't been able to participate in yet. When I get back, I should have some good information on how to promote the Birth Survey in Washington state. This is my first birth conference and I'm very happy to be able to attend. I'll summarize and report upon my return!
Sunday, February 22, 2009
Recent News Articles
I've found and read these recent news articles that have interesting implications for women who are mothers:
VBACS:
This piece in TIME magazine is getting a lot of coverage: The Trouble with Repeat Cesareans
A follow-up story to the TIME article: Childbirth Without Choice
Breastfeeding:
Breastfeeding Benefits Moms with MS
Baby Food: If breast is best, why are women bottling their milk? : article from the New Yorker offering a stunning history of expressed milk
VBACS:
This piece in TIME magazine is getting a lot of coverage: The Trouble with Repeat Cesareans
A follow-up story to the TIME article: Childbirth Without Choice
Breastfeeding:
Breastfeeding Benefits Moms with MS
Baby Food: If breast is best, why are women bottling their milk? : article from the New Yorker offering a stunning history of expressed milk
Changing Ideals for Birth
On discussion boards and surveys, the question has been posed, "What is your ideal birth?"
In preparing for another pregnancy, my ideal birth was something very close to this: I go into labor at home with my little boy. I do my typical thing until the contractions get closer together and more intense. I pray throughout to my Father in Heaven that all will be well. I either call or wake up my husband and he starts to fill the labor pool with water. I take walks with my husband and toddler. I eat a little and drink the special tea and laborade blends that I've prepared. I cuddle with my little boy and encourage him to nurse. Maybe my husband and I will have sex if my waters haven't broken. Maybe I ask him to give me a priesthood blessing. I labor in the pool submerged in water. Maybe I'll get out of the pool when I feel the urge to push, but maybe I will stay and the baby will be born with just me, my husband and my little boy present. I'll give the baby the opportunity to do the breast crawl to nurse for the first time and then baby and I will rest. Maybe husband and toddler will rest with us. When we wake up, we call the chiropractor who promised to come by and adjust me and new baby after birth, as well as grandparents, friends and the midwife to schedule a postpartum visit for the next day.
My plan has stayed pretty static for sometime, and my preparations during the pregnancy have been to support that end result. However what I consider my ideal for this birth has begun to change since I've started reading the book "Rediscovering Birth" by Sheila Kitzinger. She describes the history of birth through a cultural anthropology lense and describes how birth is viewed across cultures and history. If you were to analyze my ideal birth story above using her presentation of ideas, you would find that it has shades of contemporary American (no surprise there), tribal African, and medieval European birth practices.
I thought an unassisted birth a home with my family was what I really wanted. That it was even what I would choose in a perfect world where maternity care was appropriate and family and friends were nearby and culturally accepting of my choices. However reading Kitzinger's book I am realizing that my "perfect world" birth experience would be surrounded by women like in medieval Europe where it was a party atmosphere were the birthing woman's husband, mother, mother-in-law, sisters, aunts, cousins, friends, neighbors and young women of the community gathered together to support and comfort the mother, to celebrate the birth a baby with food, laughter and bustle.
I see the drawback of that setting: my husband would be terrified to have that many women around and can you imagine the offense taken if the birthing mother tells someone to leave? The largest reason why I do not feel I can in good conscience invite a group of women to support and surround me during birth is that almost every woman I know is strongly steeped in the American culture of birth. And the ones that aren't live very far away from me and I only know them through the internet. I know the women who could gather around me during would be fearful and concerned about not being in a hospital or not having a midwife or doctor present would permeate the atmosphere. They wouldn't have the experience of being present at many births except their own.
So I guess I basically am wishing that I was living in medieval Europe or that the entire way birth is viewed, engaged in and celebrated in the US dramatically changes before June. Of course its not going to happen but as a result, I am struggling to not feel that I am settling for what I believe is realistic given the circumstances and climate of birth.
I wish that women in our society were included in the birthing room for other women, without being paid as consultants or providers, but that their presence was the loving, benign presence of friends and family rejoicing in a typical life event. I wish that my daughters will not be strangers to birth when they birth their first babies, but will have been exposed to the gentle, natural birthing practices that take place at home surrounded by love, without fear and without unnecessary intervention.
In preparing for another pregnancy, my ideal birth was something very close to this: I go into labor at home with my little boy. I do my typical thing until the contractions get closer together and more intense. I pray throughout to my Father in Heaven that all will be well. I either call or wake up my husband and he starts to fill the labor pool with water. I take walks with my husband and toddler. I eat a little and drink the special tea and laborade blends that I've prepared. I cuddle with my little boy and encourage him to nurse. Maybe my husband and I will have sex if my waters haven't broken. Maybe I ask him to give me a priesthood blessing. I labor in the pool submerged in water. Maybe I'll get out of the pool when I feel the urge to push, but maybe I will stay and the baby will be born with just me, my husband and my little boy present. I'll give the baby the opportunity to do the breast crawl to nurse for the first time and then baby and I will rest. Maybe husband and toddler will rest with us. When we wake up, we call the chiropractor who promised to come by and adjust me and new baby after birth, as well as grandparents, friends and the midwife to schedule a postpartum visit for the next day.
My plan has stayed pretty static for sometime, and my preparations during the pregnancy have been to support that end result. However what I consider my ideal for this birth has begun to change since I've started reading the book "Rediscovering Birth" by Sheila Kitzinger. She describes the history of birth through a cultural anthropology lense and describes how birth is viewed across cultures and history. If you were to analyze my ideal birth story above using her presentation of ideas, you would find that it has shades of contemporary American (no surprise there), tribal African, and medieval European birth practices.
I thought an unassisted birth a home with my family was what I really wanted. That it was even what I would choose in a perfect world where maternity care was appropriate and family and friends were nearby and culturally accepting of my choices. However reading Kitzinger's book I am realizing that my "perfect world" birth experience would be surrounded by women like in medieval Europe where it was a party atmosphere were the birthing woman's husband, mother, mother-in-law, sisters, aunts, cousins, friends, neighbors and young women of the community gathered together to support and comfort the mother, to celebrate the birth a baby with food, laughter and bustle.
I see the drawback of that setting: my husband would be terrified to have that many women around and can you imagine the offense taken if the birthing mother tells someone to leave? The largest reason why I do not feel I can in good conscience invite a group of women to support and surround me during birth is that almost every woman I know is strongly steeped in the American culture of birth. And the ones that aren't live very far away from me and I only know them through the internet. I know the women who could gather around me during would be fearful and concerned about not being in a hospital or not having a midwife or doctor present would permeate the atmosphere. They wouldn't have the experience of being present at many births except their own.
So I guess I basically am wishing that I was living in medieval Europe or that the entire way birth is viewed, engaged in and celebrated in the US dramatically changes before June. Of course its not going to happen but as a result, I am struggling to not feel that I am settling for what I believe is realistic given the circumstances and climate of birth.
I wish that women in our society were included in the birthing room for other women, without being paid as consultants or providers, but that their presence was the loving, benign presence of friends and family rejoicing in a typical life event. I wish that my daughters will not be strangers to birth when they birth their first babies, but will have been exposed to the gentle, natural birthing practices that take place at home surrounded by love, without fear and without unnecessary intervention.
Saturday, February 21, 2009
Update: Week 25
Last week, I saw the midwife at 25 weeks and it was a very good visit.
I learned how amazing cool it is to hear a fetus's heartbeat using a stethoscope rather than a doppler. The doppler sounds to me like a"woosh-woosh" sound while the heartbeat using the stethoscope sounds like a quick little heartbeat. Mine could even more heard slower and deeper in the background. I could listen to that sound for hours. Which is why I'm seriously contemplating buying a stethoscope for home.
In my pregnancy with Willem, the only way I ever heard his heartbeat was using the doppler device, in spite of some researchers' concerns that doppler sound waves can harm the fetus. This pregnancy I'm trying to avoid the doppler and I'm so glad I did because I've discovered listening with the stethoscope. To me, the experience doesn't compare. I don't feel like I'm intruding on the baby at all, but that I'm listening without disturbing her at all.
In the week leading up to that appointment, I had had two birth dreams. This was exciting and unusual for me because I longed to dream about birth and the baby when I was pregnant with Willem, but never did. These recent dreams of mine had two things in common: they were wonderful, perfect, gentle and loving unassisted births and in each the baby was large. In the first dream, I gave birth to a 15 pound baby! I've never even heard of baby that big being born vaginally and it was a wonderful birth. The second dream, I was submerged in water to my shoulders (I've never heard of birthing in a swimming pool, but in the dream it was great!), I watched as the baby emerged from my body, she twisted in one of the cardinal movements and looked into my eyes through lovely blue gray eyes. During that dream, she wasn't weighed but I knew by looking at her that she weighed at least 10 pounds.
Of course, I have been puzzling over what this meant. Is it a premonition that I'll be birthing a baby at least 4 pounds heavier than my first? Or does it mean I'm just that confident in my ability to have a joyous birth?
I seem to be getting some indications that its not likely for me to have a large baby, especially since Willem was born at 38 weeks and not quite 7 pounds. At the recent week 25 appointment, my fundal height was measuring at 24 weeks. That could easily be normal variation and she's small for dates but in the normal range, or it may be an indication that the calculated due date is off.
Since gestational dating is such an imprecise science, I am not about to try to determine if that supposition is correct using any obstetric techniques. Instead I decided to do what I vowed to do at the start of the pregnancy: turn to God who I believe is the source for all knowledge for guidance and truth regarding this pregnancy. If anyone can or will know, it is my loving Father in Heaven. To me it is an application of the scriptures "trust the Lord with all thine heart and lean not to thine own understanding (Proverbs 3:5)" and "I will not put my trust in the arm of flesh; for I know that cursed is he that putteth his trust in the arm of flesh. Yea, cursed is he that putteth his trust in man or maketh flesh his arm (2 Nephi 4:34)." I knew that taking this matter to the Lord might not matter in big picture (applying the principle in Doctrine and Covenants where the Lord says, "it mattereth not unto me") but if it was something that he felt I should know that I wished to know if the dating was off.
I have suspected from the beginning that instead of the EDD being the last week of May, it should be the first week of June based on when the baby was conceived, my menstrual cycle, as well as just a feeling that she is going to be a June, rather than May baby. The fundal height measurement was enough to make me consider that possibility once again. When I asked of God, I felt strongly impressed by the spirit that indeed the more accurate EDD should be placed during the first week of June.
I have been enjoying throughout this pregnancy what I believe to be revelation concerning the baby and my body's work at carrying the baby. Before this baby was conceived, I felt the strong impression that a little girl was on its way to our family and then I believe it was the Spirit whispering to me that I was pregnant which is what prompted me to take a home pregnancy test in the first place. After the pregnancy was confirmed, I once again felt impressed that the baby was indeed a girl, which was then confirmed by ultrasound at week 22. I would have been perfectly content to have the gender confirmed at birth, however. The biggest question weighing on my mind however is the Lord's support and knowledge of the best birthing environment and situation for the baby. I have received impressions that he is supportive of my plans and that all will be well with the birth. That assurance is the greatest knowledge I can receive in regards to this pregnancy.
An interesting part of the impression is actually that to God, it doesn't really matter which birth setting I choose for this pregnancy, the outcome will be the same. That leads me to believe, that the Lord doesn't prescribe one "right" or ideal way to birth and that it is one of those things that he would prefer for us to study it out in our minds and our hearts (Doctrine and Covenants 9: 8) what is best for us and he will guide and support that learning process. To me that means that with each pregnancy the situations and therefore decisions made regarding birth will be different. How thankful I am that I can trust in Him to be there every step of the way in making those decisions.
That was week 25-26 of this pregnancy. I'm feeling well--particularly active and energetic. For a while that had me concerned but then I realized that I am probably rejoicing in the fact that I am done with my thesis and master's program and can now throw myself into other activities that I had to restrict myself from previously. I'm excited that in the next couple of months before the baby comes, I can focus on working with Solace for Mothers, assisting progress with The Birth Survey and reading from my book list.
I learned how amazing cool it is to hear a fetus's heartbeat using a stethoscope rather than a doppler. The doppler sounds to me like a"woosh-woosh" sound while the heartbeat using the stethoscope sounds like a quick little heartbeat. Mine could even more heard slower and deeper in the background. I could listen to that sound for hours. Which is why I'm seriously contemplating buying a stethoscope for home.
In my pregnancy with Willem, the only way I ever heard his heartbeat was using the doppler device, in spite of some researchers' concerns that doppler sound waves can harm the fetus. This pregnancy I'm trying to avoid the doppler and I'm so glad I did because I've discovered listening with the stethoscope. To me, the experience doesn't compare. I don't feel like I'm intruding on the baby at all, but that I'm listening without disturbing her at all.
In the week leading up to that appointment, I had had two birth dreams. This was exciting and unusual for me because I longed to dream about birth and the baby when I was pregnant with Willem, but never did. These recent dreams of mine had two things in common: they were wonderful, perfect, gentle and loving unassisted births and in each the baby was large. In the first dream, I gave birth to a 15 pound baby! I've never even heard of baby that big being born vaginally and it was a wonderful birth. The second dream, I was submerged in water to my shoulders (I've never heard of birthing in a swimming pool, but in the dream it was great!), I watched as the baby emerged from my body, she twisted in one of the cardinal movements and looked into my eyes through lovely blue gray eyes. During that dream, she wasn't weighed but I knew by looking at her that she weighed at least 10 pounds.
Of course, I have been puzzling over what this meant. Is it a premonition that I'll be birthing a baby at least 4 pounds heavier than my first? Or does it mean I'm just that confident in my ability to have a joyous birth?
I seem to be getting some indications that its not likely for me to have a large baby, especially since Willem was born at 38 weeks and not quite 7 pounds. At the recent week 25 appointment, my fundal height was measuring at 24 weeks. That could easily be normal variation and she's small for dates but in the normal range, or it may be an indication that the calculated due date is off.
Since gestational dating is such an imprecise science, I am not about to try to determine if that supposition is correct using any obstetric techniques. Instead I decided to do what I vowed to do at the start of the pregnancy: turn to God who I believe is the source for all knowledge for guidance and truth regarding this pregnancy. If anyone can or will know, it is my loving Father in Heaven. To me it is an application of the scriptures "trust the Lord with all thine heart and lean not to thine own understanding (Proverbs 3:5)" and "I will not put my trust in the arm of flesh; for I know that cursed is he that putteth his trust in the arm of flesh. Yea, cursed is he that putteth his trust in man or maketh flesh his arm (2 Nephi 4:34)." I knew that taking this matter to the Lord might not matter in big picture (applying the principle in Doctrine and Covenants where the Lord says, "it mattereth not unto me") but if it was something that he felt I should know that I wished to know if the dating was off.
I have suspected from the beginning that instead of the EDD being the last week of May, it should be the first week of June based on when the baby was conceived, my menstrual cycle, as well as just a feeling that she is going to be a June, rather than May baby. The fundal height measurement was enough to make me consider that possibility once again. When I asked of God, I felt strongly impressed by the spirit that indeed the more accurate EDD should be placed during the first week of June.
I have been enjoying throughout this pregnancy what I believe to be revelation concerning the baby and my body's work at carrying the baby. Before this baby was conceived, I felt the strong impression that a little girl was on its way to our family and then I believe it was the Spirit whispering to me that I was pregnant which is what prompted me to take a home pregnancy test in the first place. After the pregnancy was confirmed, I once again felt impressed that the baby was indeed a girl, which was then confirmed by ultrasound at week 22. I would have been perfectly content to have the gender confirmed at birth, however. The biggest question weighing on my mind however is the Lord's support and knowledge of the best birthing environment and situation for the baby. I have received impressions that he is supportive of my plans and that all will be well with the birth. That assurance is the greatest knowledge I can receive in regards to this pregnancy.
An interesting part of the impression is actually that to God, it doesn't really matter which birth setting I choose for this pregnancy, the outcome will be the same. That leads me to believe, that the Lord doesn't prescribe one "right" or ideal way to birth and that it is one of those things that he would prefer for us to study it out in our minds and our hearts (Doctrine and Covenants 9: 8) what is best for us and he will guide and support that learning process. To me that means that with each pregnancy the situations and therefore decisions made regarding birth will be different. How thankful I am that I can trust in Him to be there every step of the way in making those decisions.
That was week 25-26 of this pregnancy. I'm feeling well--particularly active and energetic. For a while that had me concerned but then I realized that I am probably rejoicing in the fact that I am done with my thesis and master's program and can now throw myself into other activities that I had to restrict myself from previously. I'm excited that in the next couple of months before the baby comes, I can focus on working with Solace for Mothers, assisting progress with The Birth Survey and reading from my book list.
Thursday, February 5, 2009
Mothers and Fetuses: Whose Rights Trumps Who's?
One of the fears facing homebirthing and unassisted birthing mothers is a transfer to the hospital where their motives and "fitness" as a mother are called into question by hospital staff; sometimes resulting in CPS taking the newborn from its mother and the mother faces criminal charges. Another fear is the court-mandated Cesarean where a women is forced into a surgery that maybe against her wishes.
Lorna A. Turnbull discusses these issues in the article "The Legal Characterization of Pregnancy and Mothering: Does Mother Know Best?" in the Spring/Summer 2001 issue of Journal of the Association for Research on Mothering.
She states that the legal system has historically relied on a medical model of pregnancy that dictates the behavior and decisions made by a women. The state has then attempted to regulate pregnant women's behavior through criminal prosecutions or by allowing civil actions against the mother.
Homebirthing and unassisted birthing mothers know this frame of reference all too well. By choosing to birth a home with or without a professional who is not a doctor, women are considered to be flouting what the medical establishment has deemed proper behavior for birthing women. The American College of Obstetrics and Gynaecologists have repeatedly decried the dangers of homebirth calling mothers "selfish," "irresponsible" and "incompetent." Conversely the vast majority of mothers who do choose to birth their babies at home do so beleiving that it is within the best interests of their baby and themselves; as to not be exposed to the risks attended with hospital birth. Ironically, the evidence based research of the most appropriate care for birth aligns with homebirth practices moreso than hospital births for low-risk women. Yet women are still being framed as unable to understand medical practices and then stupid and irresonsible for choosing to go against those practices. It seems that we still live in a world of "doctor knows best."
Rixa of Stand and Deliver also gave a talk discussing Risk, Responsibility and Safety at the 2008 Trust Birth Conference.
Lorna A. Turnbull discusses these issues in the article "The Legal Characterization of Pregnancy and Mothering: Does Mother Know Best?" in the Spring/Summer 2001 issue of Journal of the Association for Research on Mothering.
She states that the legal system has historically relied on a medical model of pregnancy that dictates the behavior and decisions made by a women. The state has then attempted to regulate pregnant women's behavior through criminal prosecutions or by allowing civil actions against the mother.
"The medical model removes the power of women with respect to their pregnancies and places it in the hands of doctors, or in some cases, the state. The model allows women to be depicted as self-interested or incompetent. The standards of medicine become the norm against which a pregnant woman's behavior is judged and a woman who decides against the norm of medical science is cast as irrational and selfish. A woman who defies the truth of medical knowledge becomes a bad mother, one who has declined to put the perceived needs of the foetus ahead of her own concerns."
Homebirthing and unassisted birthing mothers know this frame of reference all too well. By choosing to birth a home with or without a professional who is not a doctor, women are considered to be flouting what the medical establishment has deemed proper behavior for birthing women. The American College of Obstetrics and Gynaecologists have repeatedly decried the dangers of homebirth calling mothers "selfish," "irresponsible" and "incompetent." Conversely the vast majority of mothers who do choose to birth their babies at home do so beleiving that it is within the best interests of their baby and themselves; as to not be exposed to the risks attended with hospital birth. Ironically, the evidence based research of the most appropriate care for birth aligns with homebirth practices moreso than hospital births for low-risk women. Yet women are still being framed as unable to understand medical practices and then stupid and irresonsible for choosing to go against those practices. It seems that we still live in a world of "doctor knows best."
Rixa of Stand and Deliver also gave a talk discussing Risk, Responsibility and Safety at the 2008 Trust Birth Conference.
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