A brand new birth

The third time around contractions started on their own with no efforts on the part of my husband and I to get labor started! In fact, labor started two weeks earlier than we had been hoping. But true to form, my third child was born in a different month than the due date indicated.

Baby Elizabeth was born on Tuesday March 27 at 7:43 am after two days of early labor and about 8 hours of active labor.

I woke up with contractions 15 minutes apart on Sunday. I knew based on the week before that I wasn't going to make it all the way through church but that the walk there and back would at least be good. All through the first hour, I felt contractions but they were very mild. After the meeting, I went home and decided that I would take a longer walk to see if I could get contractions going that way. When I couldn't get a hold of the friend I really wanted to talk to, I posted a shout-out on facebook for someone to call and talk to me while I walked.

I was disappointed that walking seemed to cause the contractions to space out more. I think all I accomplished was getting my hips sore. I did get a hold of the friend I had wanted to talk to (my best friend from fourth grade) and was able to talk to two others (both of whom are doulas). Upon getting home, I took a nap while dinner was being made and then went to bed after dinner. Throughout the day, I saw that I had lost a little bit of mucous plug and the contractions became slightly stronger. It was not a great night sleep, not because of the contractions but because my throat was getting increasingly sore and dry. It was difficult to breathe because it was so raw. Finally, I fell asleep and got about 7 hours.

The contractions were interesting because they were short and mild. They seemed very easy to deal with. By Monday afternoon, I was starting to believe that I was going to be in early labor for a few more days. Since I had had a good night sleep, I knew I could keep it up, if need be. Monday morning I took the children to their gymnastics classes and visited the chiropractor. I got an adjustment and the doctor said that it should do something to the contractions, though she wasn't sure if either they would stop or progress. I went home to just see what would happen.

That day I was supposed to have a midwife appointment but I just did not feel up to it knowing that I also would be going to other appointments. I called and said I wouldn't make it. My visit that day was supposed to be with a group of pregnant women, based on the Centering Pregnancy model. I just wasn't feeling social enough to be contracting every 8-15 minutes through that meeting. However, I still was able to get a prenatal visit in that day because my midwife's partner lived near enough to me that she came and did a home visit. Based on her assessment of what she was observing from me, she too thought that I could continue in labor for a couple of days.

It was at that point I started wondering what the heck was going on. Why were the contractions so easy? Why weren't they going away? Why weren't they progressing? I got really tempted to check my cervix to see if anything had been happening. I even posted to my local birth group my frustration and asked for opinions on whether or not it was worthwhile to check. A funny thing from that conversation was that the henna artist I had scheduled for the following week to come and do a henna belly for me volunteered to reschedule my appointment to the next day, in hopes that I could get the belly done before the baby was going to be born. We made the appointment and waited to see what would happen.

I also got a call that day from a good friend who had been planning to lead a blessingway ceremony for me the following weekend. She called because she kept feeling like she needed to talk to me about it. She was glad she did when she found out that I was experiencing early labor. She quickly volunteered to call me that night and do a little ceremony by phone. I spent the rest of the day waiting for 8 pm to roll around and just settled in for whatever was in store.

That night, she called and spoke to me about the history of LDS women giving blessings to pregnant women and calling on that tradition, she prayed for me. I will post her prayer on my spirituality blog if you are interested in reading through it. After she closed her prayer, she suggested that I get the older children in bed and then get as much sleep as I could, and get to sleep as soon as I could. As it turned out, contractions changed in intensity and became slightly longer and stronger as I was cuddling children to sleep. My son was quite sure that the baby would be born that night and he excitedly told everyone just that. It sounded almost exactly like what he said on Christmas Eve when he announced that Santa was coming.

At 1 am, I gave up trying to sleep and called my midwife's partner. I still wasn't convinced that I was in active labor but I asked her to come over and see what she thought before I sent her home or called the midwife. The partner came, she checked my cervix and found that I was 5 cm. She settled in to sleep but before she was even able to sleep, the contractions shifted again and became stronger.

Check out that hippie having a homebirth!

At 2:00 am, we called the midwife who then headed to my house. At 2:30, I headed downstairs to the bathtub. My mom was so sweet making preparations as I took over her living space. She gathered candles and laid them out in the room. She plugged in my aromatherapy diffuser and got my favorite fuzzy robe into the dryer. She arranged the towels, gathered seating for midwives and my husband and stayed to hang out with me and chat between contractions. She had never seen a homebirth before and didn't have great births with my brother and I (I was a induction turned c-section for undetected breech and my brother was stillborn). While my mother made her preparations, my husband got my ipod set up and turned on my birthing playlist.

I did not want to be alone during my labor at all, so when the midwives got there, I invited the assistant in and asked her to talk with me. After all the birth supply preparation was taken care of, everyone joined me and we listened to music, laughed and talked.

At one point, my mom asked me if I was hungry and I wanted anything to eat. I didn't really have an answer for her at that point but it came to me awhile later when during a contractions, blackberries occurred to me. I opened my eyes, looked at her and said, "Blackberries." That confused everyone in the room except my husband who was the first to suggest that someone go upstairs and get me a bowl of frozen blackberries. Those were excellent to munch on between contractions. A little later, the midwife made me a fruit and yogurt smoothie and some red raspberry leaf tea.

The midwife really loved the music I had playing. Since it was on shuffle, we got some interesting juxtaposition between songs. For example, Give Said the Little Stream was followed by Bohemian Rhapsody. A little later, Laurie Berkner's  Song in My Tummy came on which caused everyone to laugh. My midwife requested that I share the playlist with her because she really enjoyed the mix of music on it.

They were also surprised that for the most part I was able to continue talking and laughing through contractions. All of us kind of believed that not much was going on. We knew that the baby was moving down because the place where we detected her heart rate became lower and lower on my abdomen. Each time heart tones were recorded we used the fetoscope to listen, just as I requested.

Listening to heart tones with the fetoscope

At one point, we couldn't hear the baby's heart beat. We could find mine and the placenta but not the baby. For the most part, we were listening through the placenta to hear it anyway and at this point, it was difficult enough to hear. We tried a couple of different times but not having success, I did consent to try with the doppler just until we found it and heard it. Once I found it, the doppler went off and we knew the baby was just fine.

Around the time I started pushing, one of my favorite gospel anthems came on called Arise and Shine Forth. As I listened, something that my friend prayed for earlier happened. She had asked that I feel encircle about with the love of my heavenly parents and with angels and the spirits of my loved ones. I I felt just that and started to cry. The midwives were also concerned about me, thinking that I was upset and they began to reassure me that everything was okay. A contraction came on and I knew I couldn't explain to them what was actually going on so I managed to say "Its a happy cry, don't worry. I'm okay." I don't think they've heard the explanation for that yet, actually.

Pushing this third time around was the hardest yet. The baby was descending slowly and I knew for quite a long time that her head was still high. The midwife asked if she could go a vaginal exam to see how high the baby was but I was able to tell her just based on what I was feeling. It was around that time I tried to will myself to get out of the bathtub and head either to the toilet (which can help a baby descend) or to the stairs (since she was probably acynclitic). Each time I would try to raise my hips out of the water, the contractions became so intense that I would immediately change my mind.

Getting out of the tub seemed like a good idea, but I couldn't bring myself to do it. 

After quite a while of pushing, I told my husband that it would be a good time to wake up the older siblings to come and witness the birth of our new baby. My husband took one look at me and said he didn't think that was a good idea. I realized that the reason he said that was because of how hard pushing had been for me and he was concerned that it would be too intense for the children to see me working so hard. Through each contraction, I was yelling quite loudly with effort.  So they stayed sleeping and we let them sleep until they woke up on their own.

At one point, the midwife asked me how long I had pushed with my previous births. The longest had been with my first, a whole 45 minutes. At that point, I had been pushing for longer than 45 minutes. I finally started feeling like the baby had moved down and that I might be able to feel where the baby was if I reached for her head. I couldn't feel her head but I did feel a intact and bulging bag of water. Just then a contraction started and I felt the bag of water break over my hand. Looking at the water of the bathtub, you couldn't tell at all which is always a good sign.

With the bag of water out of the way, her head descended quickly. It was just a couple of more contractions before she was crowning and I was at the crazy point of feeling my body push involuntarily and trying to stop pushing because I felt my tissues stretching and stinging. It took a few moments to integrate and coordinate the movements and with the next contraction, her head was part way out. I could feel her ear off to the side of her head and her soft thick hair floating in the water around her head. The next contraction, her whole body came out and she floated up in the water to my hands.

I picked her up and realized that the cord was quite short. I held her against my stomach as we waited for her to breathe. Right before her body came out, I felt her feet kick inside me so I knew she was awake and alert, but when she got to my arms, she was still. Her face looked at rest like she had decided it was time to sleep. I think that's when I told her rather forcefully that it wasn't time to sleep, that I knew she was awake and it was time for her to breathe. She started making some respiratory effort but it wasn't enough. Everyone who could reach her started stimulating her body tactically. That's when the first assistant noticed the cord was rather tightly wrapped around the baby's back and neck. My second baby completely tangled in her cord! We got her unwrapped and the primary midwife reached for her and gave her a rescue breath mouth to mouth and that's finally when the baby seemed to come into her body. She did not like being breathed into and she yelled and then started breathing. 

Into Mama's arms and telling her to breathe

Throughout the resuscitation, the midwives had been talking about her as he. When she was back in my arms I asked if it really was a boy because I hadn't seen yet. My husband and I looked together and saw that our first surprise baby was our second daughter!

I cuddled her to my chest and she with much enthusiasm launched herself at my nipple. She surprised me with how she even knew that there was something she desperately wanted behind that bathing suit top. We got her access to the nipple and she attempted to latch on immediately. Since she's my third baby, I knew immediately that something was really wrong with her latch. In spite of her enthusiasm, we knew that getting her latched on would take some work and that it was best that I get out of the tub at that point and settled into bed. On the way out, I birthed the placenta (which by the way, the midwife said was the most perfect, healthy placenta she had ever seen).

Cuddling with my baby for the first time

Once in bed, her temperature was below the outer limits of normal (97.4) so we got very busy trying to get her temperature up--using a heating pad, blankets, skin to skin and a hat. Because her latch was so wrong and wasn't getting better, I couldn't give try to get her some colostrum to help regulate her temperature. The midwives then recommended that she be given a dropper-full of glucose water (made with blackstrap molasses instead of processed sugar). Once her temperature got up to 97.6, that was stopped. We were all surprised by how long that took to happen.

I then spent the next 24 hours hand expressing colostrum and feeding her with a pipette while I waited to get a Lactation Consultant to the house. When she was less than 3 hours old, I had already called around to get someone over. One LC that I spoke to by phone suggested giving a craniosacral therapist a call (especially after I described her birth) and when she was 4 hours old, she had already seen her first therapist. The next day, we saw the Lactation Consultant and she was diagnosed with tongue tie. I'll post all about that experience in a separate post.

Elizabeth was born at 7:43 that morning, with our children still sleeping upstairs. They didn't wake up until 10:30 or so when they came downstairs and met their baby sister. I was right, they even got to unwrap her just like the a Christmas present since she was so bundled up.

Later that night, we had a little birthday party for her. My husband went out and got a cake and then brought it to us singing Happy Birthday. We all then tried to get the best night sleep we could.

In total, her birth was longer and more exhausting than I thought it would be. I had hoped that hers would be longer than her sister's birth, which I got, but I never even considered that her birth might be longer than her brother's! If I count all the early labor, her labor was 49 hours long, with a 1 hour pushing stage. It was however, a very easy 49 hour labor with only about 2 hours that I would consider intense enough that I had to really get serious.

All together

Homeschooling just got easier

My husband has been ambivalent about homeschooling our children since we first started discussing the topic. I found that I enjoyed being home with my children, playing with them and educating them more than I thought I would. Considering, I did not have a stay at home parent as a role model and had a tenous relationship with my parent who was an educator, I didn't see my taking naturally to that role. I figured I would rely on the school system to give my children what I couldn't provide for them at home. It was a pleasant surprise where I found myself hoping and even sometimes believing that I could give them better opportunities than the school system.

As the years have gone on, I've begun to consider homeschooling more seriously. Between my husband and I, we still discuss the pros and cons to homeschooling. In particular, his greatest concerns are regarding quality of science instruction, extra curricular opportunities (music and sports) and social interaction.

If we stayed in Seattle, I feel like I can cover most of those concerns. In the Seattle area, there are homeschool resource centers that offer classes for homeschoolers that act like electives. If a family feels like a child has a particular interest or talent in an area and the parents do not feel qualified to teach them at their level in that topic, the child can join other children in that class to learn. They get the classroom experience but its not all or nothing. Instead of committing to 7-8 hours a day, a schedule can be structured to be just a couple of hours a few times a week or one or two longer days a week.

I have been impressed at the communities of families that develop in these settings and find that ample opportunity is available for children to interact. Also, informal homeschooling groups provide those opportunities and many communities have groups of homeschoolers that get together on a regular basis for social activities, field trips, group work and service. There are so many sports and musical ensembles offered to children that those opportunities wouldn't be lacking either.

Science education is one of my husband's biggest concerns. Understandably, he's about to be a PhD in biology. He cares a great deal about science education. My own experience in private school meant that my math and science opportunities were lacking and he believes that its public schools who have the resources to teach students in lab settings. Some public school systems will allow homeschoolers to come into regular classes to pick up a subject. Even though that is an option, it wasn't ideal to us. Homeschool resource centers might be able to handle those classes well, especially if my husband were the parent teacher of the class...

He might be seriously considering that possibility now however. I don't understand what possessed him but last year, he found an old good quality telescope on ebay for a good price. He decided that was a learning opportunity he wanted to bring into our home and share with your children (who are only 5 and 2, mind you). He went all out and got 2 sets of mounted slides--in total 400 slides of various life forms from the plant and animal kingdoms as well as a slide preparation kit so we can mount our own slides with the children.

He kind of undercut his own argument by getting a better biology/telescope set-up than most high school labs have, and having more qualified instruction on hand for one and one interactions. I think he's completely lost that argument since we got on the mailing list for a certain catalog. It is a natural science supply store that basically supplies educators with tools and curriculum for science education. They sell pails of frogs and animal hearts for dissection for goodness sakes!

Especially exciting to us were the AP science curricula, and lab kits for children ages 8 and up. I can completely see my husband and I leading our children through the labs for AP biology, chemistry, physics and environmental science and supporting them as they prepare for the AP tests. That would be the kind of idealized science education where we were sure on the quality of instruction and felt like we had found a way to do it even better than the school system.

Obviously that is many years down the road at this point. For now, my son is a homeschooled kindergartener that is undeclared with the state since he technically does not qualify for state kindergarten. I get very frustrated with the age cut offs and my solution was to celebrate his 5th birthday with beginning kindergarten at home. If at some point we do put him into the school system, he'll go in at his age matched grade level but for now we are doing our own thing.

I'm just happy as the more I learn and discover about what all is out there, the more confident I am that we could homeschool our children and that they would get a good (if not better) education with us as their instructors. I'm especially confident in my children's abilities to seek out learning once they learn to read and write. That to me seems like the biggest challenge but I do believe that when they become motivated and see how much latitude and freedom they get from those skills, they'll be just fine in directing their own learning and getting everything they need from the education resources around them.

Home of Uncertainty

My husband is nearing graduation from his 6 year PhD program. He's hoping to finish this spring or the end of summer at the latest. Because its not clear when he will finish, its not clear where and when we'll be going or even to what we'll be going--postdoc, job, unemployment? As the spouse of PhD candidate, I'm just waiting to hear when/where we'll be going. I used to be much more impatient about things like this and the uncertainty would be killing me. I guess I've mellowed a bit and now I'm more curious than anything else.

Everytime, my husband comes home and mentions another possibility for a job or postdoc opportunity, the first thing I do is locate the university and search for real estate nearby. I get an idea of whether or not our family would enjoy living there based on what I find. Some things I generally look at: homeschooling laws, nature attractions, access to organic and local agriculture, birth community, etc. So far I have surveyed places like Brisbane, Australia; Ithaca, New York; Provo, Utah; somewhere in Florida that I can't remember; Chapel Hill, North Carolina; and Humboldt, California. This is probably the most exciting and interesting part. Its fun to daydream about possibilities and exciting new adventures.

The flip-side is the fear of What if? What if he has a hard time finding a new position and we're stuck where we are? How will we get by? He'll lose his stipend Will he be able to get a job in another field when he's at the same time riducously overqualified and underqualified at the same time? Will he be able to find a position nearby so we wouldn't have to move?

Instead of making no plans, or making plans that are based on dreams, I'm trying to be practical and prepare myself for the possibility of a few months with no income. I've stock piled some food so if we have to go lean for a few months, then we're prepared in that way. I'm still planting our garden this year in hopes of getting some fresh vegetables without relying on the store. We're trying to save money where we can now so we can continue paying utilities and such.

I'm trying to grow my doula and family services business with plans to offer classes in Signing Time, and a playgroup and take a few doula clients this summer. I would really like to gain enough midwifery skills to be able to be paid as a birth assistant by the end of the summer. It will tricky to see how well that can work with a new baby. My husband and I will try our hand at equally shared parenting if this is the case. Hopefully the baby will transition between my husband and I easily enough. I've found that birth work with non-breastfeeding children works really well for an equal partnership, but breastfeeding will definitely complicate things. I'm hoping a combination of pumping and visits from baby and husband while I'm away will allow the baby to get exclusive breastmilk.

My husband's plan to bring in money and to share income requirements is to turn his woodworking and photography hobbies into an income stream. For the last year, he has been turning wooden pens and salt and pepper grinders. Next, he'll be branching out to turned wooden bowls and decorative boxes. Already there is a local retailer who would like to put his pens up for sale in her store and everything else will be put up for sale at Etsy (since Etsy is already overrun with pen turners!).

There is a part of us that kind of hopes that this is what the summer will be like but that some good opportunity will come up for fall. If we find that job sharing and childcare sharing works, excellent. We'll know that the experiment worked and its possible and if it doesn't, then we'll be back to the stereotypical world of professor husband and stay at home mom (who has her part-time work on the side).

However, the ideals of radical homemaking and equally shared parenting are providing quite the emotional comfort in this period of uncertainty. Who knows what the future will bring, but we're pretty sure that whatever it is, we'll have the skills and know-how to keep going comfortably.

Attempting to Correct Pelvic Prolapse and Two Reviews

A few months ago, Rixa at Stand and Deliver posted about a giveaway opportunity to review a new product designed to help women address their pelvic floor prolapse issues. Since that has been one my most major concerns this pregnancy, I volunteered to be a reviewer.

Background:
After getting pregnant again, it became clear to me that my hip issues were connected to other places where I have been experiencing pain. Back when I was pregnant with Belle, there was situation where I found myself 28 weeks pregnant with a resistant toddler just when I saw the bus we needed to get was pulling in across the street. The toddler (Willem) wouldn't walk and I didn't want to wait another 30 hour with a tired, hungry toddler at the bus stop for the next bus. I grabbed him and ran. As a result, I pulled a ligament on my pubic bone. It was that ligament that caused me to stop participating in my Irish dance company because the weight of the pregnancy and the pain in that ligament was too much. My hip issues then started a few weeks later and continued intermittently. The ligament didn't give me any more trouble after Belle's birth; that is, until I got pregnant this third time. Its been bothering me more than my hip has the last few months.

Between pregnancies, I also noticed that I was experiencing some minor prolapse issues with my pelvic floor. It seemed to be worst when I was wearing a heavy 25 pound toddler on either my front or back. My hip would also start hurting and I'd feel that familiar ache into my thigh bone. It with those experiences that I concluded that all my hip trouble is likely related. My pelvis has been through a lot the last 6 years of childbearing and mothering!

My goal for this pregnancy was to find some effective ways to address these issues so they would not get worse after this baby was born. I've spent the last year trying to strengthen my body with regular exercise through a gym membership and personal training. I think its made a difference because here I am 32 weeks pregnant with only minor stiffness and achiness in my hip joint.

I had considered for quite a long time finding a skilled Physical Therapist to address the pelvic floor issues but for various reasons felt that I wasn't sure about the effectiveness in regards to the cost. I wanted to learn more before I made that investment.

Some friends introduced to me the company Whole Woman about the time Rixa posted about reviewing the Laselle exercisers. For Christmas, I purchased the First Aid for Prolapse DVD and its a good thing I did because I started using the Laselle exerciser before and it became much more effective after learning the principles taught in the DVD.

Since receiving the Laselle exerciser, I've tried to use it for about an hour at a time a few days a week. Usually, I use breakfast time for it because I'm able to focus on my posture while I cook and sit to eat.

At first, especially before viewing the Whole Woman DVD, I found the Laselle exerciser more annoying and discouraging than anything else. It seemed like it didn't matter what I did, but the exerciser would not stay positioned and I'd have to reposition it every few minutes.

After viewing the DVD, I learned that the explanation was probably in my posture. After spending a couple of weeks trying to retrain myself to hold my body, I started using the Laselle exerciser again. I find now that I better understand how to isolate my pelvic floor muscles and focus on holding the LaSelle exerciser in.

Because the exerciser is a weighted ball, its unlike something that is designed to stay inside the vaginal opening without falling out. It rolls out and the goal is for the woman to be able to use her muscles to hold it in and prevent it from rolling out.

I do plan to continue using the exerciser now that the review period is over. I'm especially greatful from what I have learned from the Woman Woman DVD and will continue to remember those principles of good posture. Because I am currently pregnant, I find that I cannot easily do all the movements in the Whole Woman DVD. Its not designed for pregnancy at all so I will pick up with that after the early postpartum period is over. I believe it will be a wonderful DVD to use to get back into exercise after the baby is born.

Until then, I find that using Spinning Babies for baby positioning, pelvic rocks, hands and knees position, focusing on proper posture, using the Laselle exerciser and belly dancing (using my new Belly Dance for Birth DVD!) are all helping my hips feel good and to address my pelvic floor issues without making them worse with the advancing pregnancy. A good diet of plenty of protein and fiber has also been really important to prevent constipation. Green smoothies and rice and beans are my new best friends.

In conclusion, I highly recommend learning the principles of Whole Woman posture because that is what I have found most helpful in addressing my prolapse issues. The Laselle exerciser is a helpful way to practice and ensure that I'm getting the posture right. For that reason, I feel like the Laselle exerciser would be more effective if the product included more information regarding its use, specifically counseling women on good posture to prevent and correct prolapse issues from occuring.

Top Fifteen List: Birthing Songs

Its time to start getting excited about my baby's upcoming birth. This pregnancy has been nice, albeit slightly confusing because I feel like I have very little to prepare. We've got all the stuff for either gender of baby. I know exactly where it is and know that it can be set up quickly when the time is closer. Knowledge wise, I'm prepared. If anything I know too much and it can get in the way of enjoying a nice normal healthy pregnancy. My birth path is solid and secure. I'm approaching this new birth with confidence that I know how to birth babies and I'm trusting that I am prepared for whatever is coming my way (knowing that its probably going to awesome).

The confusing part is the wait. What do I do with myself in the meantime? 9 months is a long time for feeling prepared and ready and needing to put off the basics until later on. My answer has been in a combination of distraction/keeping myself busy (which I've been doing through certifying as a doula and midwife apprenticing) and inner work.

One thing I felt like I could early on in the pregnancy (starting about 15 weeks) was to expose the new baby to the voices of his/her life and music. From my daughter's pregnancy, I have a birthing playlist of music that I love and enjoying listening to during labor. Why not start listening as soon as the baby has ears to hear? During the day, I put the playlist on for background music or I put in my earphones and sing my favorite songs. Many of these songs have a message that reminds me of the special sacredness of carrying and birthing a baby or contains a message that I would like my children to internalize, or its reminds me of my feelings in labor and gives me a form of expression to those feelings, or its just a song that makes me happy regardless of what is going on around me (for example, Bohemian Rhapsody is on there).

The list contains 60+ songs for about 4 hours of music. I won't list them all for you, but I'll share my favorites. I couldn't fit it into a Top Ten list, so here's my Top Fifteen songs to enjoy while in labor*:

1. Hear You Me (May Angels Bring You in)-- Jimmy Eat World

This one reminds me of singing a baby into its new home, as well as singing a loved one into the afterlife. Listening to this song makes me think of my dad and remembering that he's not on the earth to share grandparenthood with my children always makes me sad. But I'm also reminded that I believe that he's in a new existence on a different plane and that he knows and loves my children and he continues to love me. I'm also reminded of the circle of life that as loved ones die, I'm blessed to be in my childbearing years and I can balance the losses with the gains of new family members. This song serves to invite my dad into my birthing space and to know that we are being looked over by angels.

2. It is You (I Have Loved): Dana Glover from the Shrek Soundtrack

I've blogged about this song before and why I find it so meaningful. Because I had encountered a good deal of loss before my children were born, I didn't feel very connected to this life. It felt like I had nothing keeping me tied to the earth when it felt like my whole family was gone already. I wish I could say that falling in love with my husband made me feel connected to earth life, but it wasn't until my son was born that I felt like my place was here and I was needed for an important purpose. Turns out that it was my children that I loved all along and I needed them to come into my life to feel connected to life. I hope that also serves to explain the tagline of my blog to you.

3. Good Morning Starshine: Oliver

If I could cue any song to play at the moment of my child's birth, it would be this one. I'm not planning anythings elaborate to ensure that happens, but I love how easy the song is to sing to a small child. Its especially poignant to sing this as the child's welcome to the world. For each child, I have designated a special song that I sing throughout the pregnancy and continue to sing to them after their birth. For Willem, it was "It is You I Have Loved." For Belle, it was "For the Beauty of the Earth." And for whoever this one is, its "Good Morning Starshine." I expect I'll be able to annoy the pants off a teenager who does not want to wake up by singing this song at wake-up time in a few years.

4. I Want to Break Free: Queen

This one just makes me laugh. I imagine a fetus experiencing contractions and working its way into the world would share the sentiment of this song. I also find this song appropriate when I get to that point in labor where I just want it to be over and have my new baby in my arms.

5. There's A Song in My Tummy: Laurie Berkner

When I was pregnant with my daughter, I adapted this song so it could be sung "There's a baby in my belly and she wants to come out...and when she does she's going to cry and shout..." Thusly, it deserves a place on my playlist and on my favorites as well. Its fun to sing this through pregnancy and labor to remind me what I'm looking forward to when the labor part is done, and the real work begins.

6. Drive: Incubus

This one I find most appropriate because of the atmosphere of fear and conformity that surrounds birth. After my first experience giving birth, I realized that I couldn't trust the predominant culture when it came to birthing choice. I struck out on my own, chose my own path and felt like I had taken ownership of my birthing responsibilities and it gave me the confidence to continue taking ownership of many other aspects of my life. While in labor and during pregnancy, this song gives me confidence in my choices and reminds me of why I make the decisions I do.

7. Best Years of Our Live: Baha Men

Because you need some happy, upbeat dance music during labor. My husband and I seriously love our lives together and these years wouldn't be the best years of our lives without our children. Its the perfect song of celebration at the birth of a new baby and makes me happy every time I hear it.

8. Pardon Me: Incubus

This song encompasses the anger and frustration that I feel regarding the cultural influences that are working against homebirth and women's rights to choose where and with whom she gives birth. As I'm in labor and I hear this song, I feel vindicated and like I'm expressing my freedom to be different, to do what is right for me and my family. There's something immensely satisfying about belting during pregnancy and labor, "I've had enough of the world and its people's mindless games. So pardon me while I burn and rise above the flame. Pardon me, pardon me... I'll never be the same!"

9. I'm not Doubling Back Now: Jason Mraz

This song inspires perseverance and determination in me while I'm in labor. The last thing I'm going to do when I'm working to get my baby out is to double back and go back the way I came. This helps me visualize constantly moving forward, advancing the baby through my pelvis and closer to my arms. Its got a good beat and is enjoyable to dance to in labor which is only going to help position and move the baby down.

10. Arise and Shine Forth: Relief Society Soundtrack

There is nothing like a strong, spiritual anthem. Its this type of testimony of Christ that I want to pass on to my children: a vibrant, energetic joy that has the rafters filled with powerful, optimistic voices. I love singing my testimony in this song and hearing it reminds me of the fire that burns within me and gives me strength to do whatever is required of me.

11. Don't Stop Me Now: Queen

More high energy here that matches my fiery personality. When I'm faced with a challenge and its doing work I find rewarding, I get really determined and this song (at least the chorus, and maybe the first verse) is something like a personal anthem for me when I'm working hard to accomplish a goal. I find it perfect to inspire determination in me during labor. This song says to me, "I'm having my baby. Don't mess with me!"

12: Sleeping to Dream: Jason Mraz

I spend my pregnancies fantasizing what this new little being with be like so this song captures that wistfulness, as well as that bit of frustration that comes at the end of pregnancy when mama isn’t sleeping well and just wants to meet her baby already. There’s also a point in labor when all I want to do between contractions is to sleep and I’m wishing so much to have the birth process be over and have the baby already that its practically a dream mixed with that euphoric delirium of laborland. I sing this to my baby during labor to communicate just how much I look forward to his/her birth.

13. Happy Together: The Turtles

This song is obviously written about the love between a man and a woman, but I find myself wishing for that kind of love as expressed in the song to exist between myself and my children. Before my children were born, I loved thinking of my love for my husband in terms of this song, but I find that love just grows and becomes all that more sweet when I think of including my children in that circle. Do you remember that commercial with the video game characters skipping through a sunny meadow with this music in the background? That’s the kind of joyful exuberance I want to share with my children.

14. Do You Believe in Magic?: The Lovin' Spoonful

There’s something undeniably magical about giving birth to a human being and seeing that little human learn and grow. This song just makes me happy since it makes me think of all the magical, happy times that accompanies parenthood. I hope that my children have childhoods that are optimized by this song so I consider this another song of welcoming to my new little one as s/he enters our family.

15: Sacred Birth: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9ukEN4O7RhA

I wish this one were on iTunes so I could buy it and add it to my birthing playlist. This song is an original work by the singer in the video. She also happens to be a sister LDS birth worker. There's not much music specifically about the power and beauty of birth out there. There needs to be more. And this needs to be available on iTunes!

* You'll probably discover I have a slightly quirky preference for labor music and you'll either think I'm crazy or be amused. You might even find something fun that you would want to add to your birthing playlist.

Wild and Crazy Ideas

One thing I love about being a mother is the multitude of opportunities I have for creative thought. Often when I am doing something routine and ordinary (dishes, cooking, driving, laundry, cleaning), I keep my mind busy with thoughts on social issues, education, public policy, philanthrophy, women's issues: the topics that I am passionate about and discuss frequently in my blogging. From these thoughts, I've come up with many ideas over the years--some bigger than others. Some of them impact a relative few (like Birthing in Zion) and others have the potential to impact millions. Some I possess the skills and education in order to make them happen but most would require me to have effective collaborating and networking skills to find the people who are trained in that area. And sometimes, I really just fly by the seat of my pants and figure it out as I go along (like the book I'm working on...)

Here is a sampling of ideas that I've had over the last couple of years:

• In 2007: a birth trauma organization for the United States which offers a online discussion board for women who needed understanding support while facing PTSD/PTS. Its name? Solace for Mothers, in collaboration with Jennifer Zimmerman and Sharon Storton. 

• Also in 2007: a consumer survey for maternity care providers. I was thinking it could be called The Birth Survey. This one actually already existed so I got involved for the launch in 2008 and I am now the Co-Chair of the Committee that oversees it.

• In 2008, a political party with a platform of family and worker friendly public policies that prioritized investing in Americans. I figure I would call it The Family Party. This is probably one of the biggest ideas that I know next to nothing about. I'm pretty well versed in family policy but founding a political party? That's a little outside the scope of my training... 

• Also in 2008: a research institute run by parents asking questions that parents care deeply to know the answers to. Studies would be conducted by parents who do have the skills to conduct research studies, the IRB would be staffed by parents trained in research ethics. Parents with questions propose the studies. Parents conduct the studies. Families participate in the studies (with parental consent after ethics review). It would be volunteer run and skills like publishing, marketing, graphic design would be needed. I love the idea, but I don't see it happening any time soon...

• Another from 2008: become a children's book author. I have 4-5 children's books in various stages, some just concepts and others almost completely written and ready to submit. I've pursued finding out how to publish but it seems like a tough field to crack. 

• And another from 2008: a homebirth friendly TV hosted on HGTV. That's when they were running their ad campaign called "Start at Home." When I heard that, I thought of homebirth is quite literally starting life at home. I outlined my concept and started an online petition here on my blog. This one still might happen, maybe not on HGTV, but I'm still scheming. Don't you worry. 

• 2008 was evidently a fruitful year because this is also when I thought of The Birth Trauma Memorial. This idea has continued to be shaped over the years. My ideal is to plant a weeping willow tree and place a granite monument nearby remembering and honoring the millions of women who have been traumatized by their birth experiences and offer a place of recognition, hope and healing for us. In conjunction with the planting of the tree, I would like to host a conference on the topic of birth trauma and PTSD/PTS after childbirth, what we know can reduce the chances of it occurring, and information regarding effecting healing modalities as well as effective strategies to influence provider practices that contribute to antepartum trauma. 

• 2009: get a PhD. I did apply for PhD programs but did not get into any due to not being able to find a good fit with an advisor in programs local to me. As time has gone on, I've realized that I don't feel the need for a PhD like I did a couple of years ago. Instead in 2010, I enrolled in midwifery school. 

• Also 2009: create a community action group among the women of my church congregation. That didn't happen due to lack of interest (evidently radical LDS women are hard to find in small geographical regions...) But an opportunity did present itself in 2010 with the establishment of WAVE. I joined with the women there and become the Women's Service Mission Director where I have been focusing on social issues and demonstrable action that can address the issues.  

• Nothing much in 2010, as I can recall. It was a busy year on its own. 

• Early 2011, I had the idea for Birthing in Zion, the directory of LDS midwives and birth professionals. That launched a few weeks ago and already we have birth workers in 13 states in the US and more coming in every few days. 

• Summer 2011, I had been thinking on ways that we could meet the needs of the most needy Americans in a political climate where the focus was (and still is) any other than the American people. I thought of a federal level effort to address the needs of the American people using private donations. I wrote it about it here on my blog, but have done nothing (as of yet) to pursue it. 

• In August 2011, you'll remember my big idea to start a new business: a play and learn community center called "It Takes A Village" where facilitated playgroups, infant, toddler and preschool enrichment classes would be offered along side informational classes on parenting topics, with community services like in house lactation consultants and doulas. I may someday do this still but the surprise pregnancy made it bad timing and I can tell that some percolating is still needed for all the pieces to fall into place. 

• A recent one: a new genre of ballet where the choreography teaches about biological processes. A ballet depicting the movements of the Solar System through dance and music, or another on the chemical properties of the periodic elements, or the shifting land masses through time and even today. I would love to be able to show this type of ballet to my children. I dream of a day when various movements would be available on youtube to show and discuss with my children. This one: definitely no expertise on my part. Just the interest of a one time dancer, lover of music, early childhood educator and homeschooling parent. 

• Another recent one: Occupy Youtube. A grassroots campaign of Occupy Wall Street and I am the 99% supporters who record their reasons for supporting the efforts and post videos on youtube. I've been hearing from many supporters who do not feel that they can attend the rallies but do support the cause and share frustrations with occupiers. Recording, compiling and and then broadcasting the videos at the rallies would show that supporters are not just the people there on the streets, but are at home or at work. Occupiers would also see that the people they are representing agree and support them. I don't think I have the network for this, but I might just have the gusto to contact the people who might. 

So there you are. I come up with big ideas and sometimes I can do something about them, and sometimes I can't. And maybe on some, I just haven't learned what I need to yet to be able to accomplishment and I might in the future. Who knows?

Sale at Signing Time this weekend

It's Rachel Coleman's birthday!! Be sure to wish her a happy birthday on her facebook page. To celebrate, Signing Time is having a birthday sale. 25% off everything, today and tomorrow only. Promo code: rachelbday

To access the store, click on "Store" on the menubar at the top.

Also, digital downloads of the videos are now available. Visit this link and click on "Get a Free Signing Time Video" to download the player and download as many videos as you want. They can be saved on up to 5 mobile devices!

Don't forget to use the 25% off promo code!

What has she been up to?

Its been a busy few months and I have neglected to do anything beyond posting a facebook update about the going-ons. If you've been following my facebook page, little of this will be new to you, but if not, be prepared for some surprises.

June

I was introduced to essential oils and found a wonderful community of women belonging to my church who are embracing the role of woman healer. The oils were instrumental in helping me treat a very stubborn and confusing illness going on with Belle and have become our go to form of treatment since then. In order to get the wholsesale prices, I signed up as a consultant and continue to get one or two oils sent to me every month. I haven't done much with the marketing to earn income, but who knows maybe that will change. If you are interested in getting the wholesale prices as well, let me know and I can help you get signed up.


July

In July, I learned more about one of my favorite companies. Both of children have loved Signing Time so the last few holidays, I've been collecting the Signing Time videos for them. When I found out about Signing Time Academy, my children were actually very excited to think of me as a signing time teacher and they loved getting the new signing time videos. The prices for instructors are really amazing compared to retail. One of the newest exciting things that is coming out of Signing Time is that they will be releasing digital copies of the videos to put on iPad, iPhone and other mobile devices. The instructor rate is awesome and Willem is so excited. I haven't been able to coordinate a class yet but I'm working on it. I think I'll be starting from my home, and then try the local community centers. Check out my Instructor page by clicking on the Signing Time Academy logo on the right sidebar and watch some free samples of the shows!

In July, we took a family tour of South Lake Union in Seattle on a paddle-wheel cruise ship. Here's me and my not so babies anymore.

August

In August, I had a big brainstorm that would put all my passions into one endeavor. All it required was $30,000, a full time commitment and becoming a business owner. I spent a good amount of time trying to figure out if I could make it happen. The idea was that I would create a play and learning center in my town where parents of infants to primary aged homeschoolers could come to share learning activities. They would have access to a complete learning environment and a trained facilitator to assist them in finding activities in line with their goals and current interests. In addition to the playspace, parents would be able to connect with one another and learn from the variety of classes, workshops and seminars that would be regularly offered. Connections would be made during playgroups and families would gain support networks among other families in the community. A quiet room for breastfeeding and consultations with doulas and lactation consultants would be available. A small boutique would sell the essentials of attachment parenting. I was going to call it "It Takes a Village" and it would be awesome. I'd have a space to teach my Signing Time classes, be able to facilitate the Play and Learn groups I fell in love with during my graduate program and be a happening cool spot for parents in the community.

And then...

On my 7th anniversary, I found out I am pregnant with our third baby.

This was a complete surprise. We're talking highly unlikely for dates. It was so unlikely that my midwife commented on it. I've heard that sperm can live up to 6 days within a woman's reproductive tract, but our case would  have been 7 days. With my pelvis and joint concerns, we are excited but also rather concerned as well. I'm redoubling my efforts to address those concerns so it can be a healthy, as comfortable as possible pregnancy.

In September, Belle and I saw Rachel Coleman live in concert. She is the creator and personality of Signing Time.

September

Also just before I found out I was pregnant, I put in an application for a scholarship to become trained as a birth doula. I had this feeling that I was ready to take my birth training to the next level and that meant contacting my midwife who told me that when I was ready I could tag along to a birth with her and doing the birth doula training. Unfortunately it didn't work out with my midwife, but two other midwives are keeping me in mind. I also ended up getting the scholarship for the birth doula training, so in September, I spent 4 days getting trained by Penny Simkin and Teri Shilling at the Simkin Center for Allied Birth Vocations.

After the training, one of the local birth doula collectives offered me a spot to cover the northern part of the region and I became a Doulaville Doula! Its great to be apart of a community of doulas from the beginning. Its like I have built in mentors.

At this point, I'm hoping to attend the three births required for certification before the new baby is born. I don't know how realistic that is, but I have until March/April. If you know of a pregnant mama expecting in the North Puget Sound who is in need of a very affordable doula, please send her my way!


October

So far this month, I finally followed through with my post Midwifery As a Calling.

Birthing in Zion: The LDS Midwife, Doula and Birth Professional Directory is now a reality! A companion Facebook community has been made to go along with it. You can "like" LDS Midwives, Doulas and Birth Professionals on Facebook to keep up to date with an amazing group of faithful, Christian women.

The part of the directory I am most excited about is the opportunity for LDS women to list themselves as volunteer peer support doulas. By doing so, they make themselves available to sister Latter-day Saints in their communities to provide the type of labor support that has been happening informally for centuries. The response has been inspiring and I hope that we can start seeing midwives and doulas listed in each stake (geographical divison) of the church.

In addition to all these things, I'm still busy and involved with my three non-profits.

A project I am working with Solace for Mothers on is Voices of Trauma. We are collecting stories from women who have experienced traumatic childbirth and compiling them into a book focused on causes/predictors of trauma, healing and prevention.

With CIMS, I am now the Grassroots Advocates Committee Co-Chair and I am on the national leadership team. Most of my work recently with them has been putting out the e-CIMS, the organization's quarterly email newsletter. If you aren't yet subscribed, do it! Its always full of great information and opportunities to be an involved birth advocate.

As you can see, I've been busy and will continue to be so in the next few months. The good news is that I'm not starting a business while pregnant! Maybe someday, it'll work out to see that vision realized. Until then, I will continue loving the little naked people who just ran into the backyard, the little one growing inside me, and doing what I can from my home to move forward the goal of woman-centered, mother and baby friendly maternity care throughout the world.

Getting Middle of the Road Political on you

The budget debate is a mess right now. U.S. politicians are facing quite the challenge as they make policy decisions to keep the country going. President Obama's recent speech called all Americans to weigh into the debate and contact their federal representatives. Whatever side you are on, you have the right and ability to influence public policy through your representatives. If you haven't yet, weigh in:

If you are on the conservative side, The Heritage Foundation provides a public petition to Congress.

And on the liberal/progressive side, MoveOn.org takes the opposing tack.

Whichever side you find yourself on, you have the opportunity to engage in government in the way a republic is designed. This also provides an opportunity to take a step back, and look at the bigger picture.

One of the central features of the debate in government spending is social services for the poor and the needy. A common argument against government funding for social services is that it is not the government's responsibility to care for charity cases. However, it is less common to hear proposals that would meet the needs of the poor and the needy residing in the United States, without using government funding to do so. And yet, there are petitions encouraging U.S. policymakers to give money to other countries struggling with extreme poverty. If the United States cannot provide for the needs of its own poor, how can it conscionably appropriate funds to relieve poverty of other countries?

For the record, I agree that governments ideally would not use taxpayer money to the care of people in other countries, especially when there are such severe needs in our own country. With the proposed budget cuts, the elderly, children in poverty and the disabled will be without heat this winter, facing exposure and increasing the likelihood of health complications.  At the same time, I recognize the Christian and humanist duty for all people of the world to care for the poor and the needy. Though, the people of the United States may feel the need to prioritize the people of their own communities and country first, the suffering of people in developing countries are equal in value and importance.

Enter limited resources. If the money is not coming from governments, who does it come from?

Peter Singer, in The Life You Can Save, promotes the idea that everyone, especially those blessed with the affluence of the developed world have a percentage of their income to share with those who are in more need than they.  The Live You Can Save has been called the Billionaire's pledge for people of all income groups.

Since I doubt we have any billionaire's reading this blog, the pledge calculator conservatively estimates the percentage of income that a given household can comfortably donate to charitable and humanitarian organizations. Giving What We Can's donation calculator can tell you which percentage of the world is more wealthy than you. Chances are, if you are lower-middle to upper middle class, in a developed country, you are in the 20% percent of the world's wealthiest and your earnings are 4 or more times those of the typical person.

So, the proposal:

Over a period of a few years, the United States governments passes of the responsibility for social services to its citizens through incentivizing freewill donations to private sector non-profit organizations that take over service delivery. A suggestion for organizing and making needs known and accessible to potential donors is to use a website organization much like the one already in use by Global Giving.

The incentive from the government may be in the form of a tax credit or a tax deduction that is exempt from itemizing. A PSA and public education campaign similar to Let's Move, maybe called Let's Give, can be developed and promoted around the country.

While at the same time promoting citizen donations to social services, the proverbial Let's Give campaign can encourage giving to international humanitarian efforts like those recommended by The Life You can Save, Giving What We Can and Global Giving. Singer asserts, "If everyone who can afford to contribute to reducing extreme poverty were to give a modest proportion of their income to effective organizations fighting extreme poverty, the problem could be solved. It wouldn’t take a huge sacrifice." All it requires is the coordinated will, cooperation and some effective marketing.

We have the means available to meet the needs of all those who suffer from poverty, but it will require more people working together. Governments can play a role in the promotion of these values, but the domestic needs of their countries need to be their first priority. Sure, its redistribution of wealth, but this proposal addresses its biggest objection: voluntary giving. A good deal of resentment exists at the compulsory means of collecting funds for social services. If those who object so much were given the ability (and the incentive) to choose for themselves, perhaps we would see the Christian mandate to give of one's wealth accomplished and relief for the poor and the suffering of the world.

Some thoughts on Homebirth Safety

It was from my son's birth experience when I began to learn how often needless interventions are pushed in hospitals. I succeeded in a non-medicated, almost intervention free (AROM at 6 cm) birth in a hospital practice of midwives using Hpnobirthing (TM).  However I did not have supportive and respectful staff and ended up essentially fighting for the right to give birth under my own power without the midwives needlessly intervening. 

From this I learned that they are businesses who want to maximize the money that comes in and they do it by rushing women through by speeding up labor and/or cutting babies out which because it requires more equipment, more staff, more procedures bills more. The whole system is set up not to promote health and safety, but to promote efficiency and billable procedures (which includes NICU admissions).

The more I learn about midwifery, the more I see how homebirth midwives understand a great deal more about the physiology of birth than hospital birth attendants. Birth really does work best when its left alone (in 90%-ish of situations). I've lived based on that stat. There's a 90% chance that everything will be just fine at home, transfer services work for the remaining situations (and I always lived 10 minutes from the hospital I would transfer to). Midwives are trained in these situations (and since I'm studying those situations now, I'm impressed with the depth of knowledge expected from then).

One of my favorite ways to think about the safety debate is that the meaning of "as safe as hospital birth" means mortality wise. Women and infants do not have a higher likelihood of dying at a homebirth than at a hospital. Its just as safe in that way. However, homebirth is actually SAFER when taking into account morbidity (other ill health that does not lead to death but might bring a person close...) To women wanting to avoid hysterectomy, abdominal surgery, complications from surgery or anesthesia, PTSD, higher rates of infection, the manual cutting of their vaginal openings or severe lacerations to their perineums, etc: homebirth is considered much safer. Researchers down plays the morbidity thing so much. Its like they don't believe that those experiences aren't bad enough that a woman would go to great lengths to avoid them.